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"am i half-jewish or half-black? i traded my challah for holla" -some dude - here is where i live

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June 1st, 2007


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04:35 am - "am i half-jewish or half-black? i traded my challah for holla" -some dude
i read this at the as220 open mic tonight, and  i killed it oh shiiiiiit[1]. srsly i was excited when i got off the stage, everyone was cheering and everything. now granted, they also cheered for the ASTOUNDINGLY BAD guitarist/singer dude who sounded like lauri playing shoe fly[2][3], but nevertheless. jared, the host man, cracked up at the "your hair on fire and forks in your eyes" part, like falling all over himself, and i started laughing, and it took like 3 tries before i could start reading again without giggling. i don't know how people can just bang out their stuff without getting distracted by the audience laughing and cheering and stomping and snapping and clapping and whatever the hell else they do during performances. it's so distracting! even when i'm in the audience i find it distracting; it's so much worse on stage. but anyways, i have decided that once i memorize a few poems, i am going to do an actual slam and not just the open mic. and obviously i will win and be voted king of earth and women will flock to fan me and feed me peeled grapes[4].

[1] this is a good thing, note. there was some confusion on this point
[2] she plays this song intentionally amateurishly, for kicks
[3] at every open mic, there is at least one person who makes me wonder why they perform. do they think they're good? do they know they suck and don't care? it seems so strange to me with my stage fright for someone to just hop up there and laboriously work out a song on their guitar they seemingly learned to play 3 days ago.
[4] obviously!

shira was the feature. every time i see her perform, i am blown away. she's so fucking good. she has great stage presence, and her words are just incredible. each one is so perfectly chosen.

my stay-up-all-night-with-heather-and-brian-stravaganza has been cancelled due to them both being lameoids and going to sleep. so i suppose i may as well too. goodnight muffins
np: Kicked In The Head - Thick As Thieves - 08 - Fix My Sink

(18 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


From:(Anonymous)
Date:June 1st, 2007 01:28 pm (UTC)
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dan, i'm sorry i wasn't there last night when you told me about your friend, i was out planting my veggie garden. (best part: when i get to mutter "where dat broke-ass hoe now?" every time i forget where i lay my disfunctional garden tool)
that's really sad, i hope he/she will be okay. is it anyone i know?
peace, i'll talk to you later, luv andrea
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From:melley
Date:June 1st, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
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did dan subject you to the guy on seattle public access who sings "the kiiing is in his castle" song? if not i will have to get that shit on youtube somehow. he is a classic "why is that person performing??" exhibit.
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 5th, 2007 07:28 am (UTC)
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no, i think this is hte first i have heard of this
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From:plotsthicken
Date:June 1st, 2007 03:12 pm (UTC)
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YOU'RE WELCOME FOR BEING THE INSPIRATION.
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 2nd, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
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THANKS FOR BREAKING MY HEART INTO A THOUSAND PIECES
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From:plotsthicken
Date:June 7th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
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THANKS FROM AUTUMN TO ASHES
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 22nd, 2007 06:28 am (UTC)
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they are the only ones who understand my searing pain.
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From:amyawesome
Date:June 1st, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
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You should write something for me. I demand it!!
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 5th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC)
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i've written you plenty of things! well, three. but that's three more than you've written me
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From:amyawesome
Date:June 5th, 2007 07:31 am (UTC)
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I can't remember them all. show me!
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From:amyawesome
Date:June 5th, 2007 08:34 am (UTC)
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the mp3 does not work and it breaks my heart as that is the one I cannot remember.
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 7th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
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it works for me! what is it doing wrong for you?
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From:amyawesome
Date:June 7th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
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absolutely nothing. :(
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 22nd, 2007 06:21 pm (UTC)
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i will play it at your wedding
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From:katie_beach
Date:June 1st, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
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oh geeze. you are so gonna get a HUGE head from this thing I introduced you to. ahahaha and you will probably slam before I do. <3 I'm proud of you.
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From:kingnixon
Date:June 2nd, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
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hahaha it's possible i was exaggerating a teense. i like to pretend i have a giant ego sometimes

why don't you ever slam?

thank you :)
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From:squirrelyjones
Date:June 1st, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
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Every time I read an entry of yours, it makes me wish we lived in the same city so I could cuddle with you.

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