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storytime, followed shortly thereafter by brutal honesty time - here is where i live

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May 16th, 2008


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03:31 am - storytime, followed shortly thereafter by brutal honesty time
SCENE 1: so i met this girl tina in like march. i was at seaweeds (bar) with some people, and she was a friend of a friend of a friend. we were kinda making eyes at each other, and started talking, and blah blah i get her number and an invite to a party at her place a few days later. party is fun, she says we should hang out etc.
SCENE 2: since the party she hasn't answered any voicemails/texts. after like.. a month? or thereabouts, i wind up at a party of the people who live right below her, and she's there and says something about how she's been so busy and something else i couldn't catch because, ya know, loud party. after this she still isn't answering the phone. okay, hell with it, i stop calling.
SCENE 3: today! i had a delivery to her work. i say hi, how've you been, etc. she gives me a look, and says "you're... dan?" shortly thereafter she goes to answer the phone and i leave.

so anyway, that pissed me off. then being pissed wore off and i just felt sad. not because of her specifically - i mean, i met her a whole 3 times, so whatever. but it's rare that someone seems actually interested in me, let alone someone i'm interested in back. and shit like this happens to me all the time and i don't understand why. not as much being totally forgotten, but i feel like every few months somebody will decide to just cut me off for no apparent reason. they blow me off, don't return calls, basically avoid and ignore me until i give up, feeling dejected and confused. now if someone feels they have to do this, then so be it, but dammit at least tell me why! what am i doing? if i knew, i would probably stop.
and i'll note, half the time it's someone i'm just friends with. so i'm not just scaring off potential dates.

so seriously, brutal honesty time. am i doing something horrible that i'm not aware of? please let me know.
np: Days of the New - Days of the New II - 04 - Weapon & the Wound

(19 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:miss_geek
Date:May 16th, 2008 08:45 am (UTC)
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brutal honesty from me won't help...

because had i not met you right before i left the state... i would have wanted to hang out all the time and i would have likely irritated the crap out of you.

i had a giant super crush on you. i still think you're super awesome, so this girl must be an ass as far as i'm concerned.

i am a big fan of brutal honesty, for the record.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
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:) why thank you. yeah i wish we'd hung out more too. that's what you get for living way up in troy
[User Picture]
From:miss_geek
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
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yeah i didn't know any better. i was actually looking for the middle of nowhere and i TOTALLY found it.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
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haha yeah you really did. and now you know better
[User Picture]
From:ratkrycek
Date:May 23rd, 2008 08:41 am (UTC)
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Awwwww. Sorry, guys... but I just think that is so sweet.

Now get thee back to the East Coast! ;)
[User Picture]
From:leyse
Date:May 16th, 2008 10:41 am (UTC)
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i think you're cool enough to live with. I don't know, maybe she was weirded out seeing you in different places after ignoring your calls? I mean, it was shitty of her to do that, but maybe she's twinging stalker vibes off of you because of coincidences that are entirely out of your control. But unless you were texting / calling every day I don't see why she would get freaked out over the scenes you described.

I don't know, =(
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
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i don't think i was being stalkery. and the delivery was really the only thing that was coincidental. pretty much everyone in providence knows each other so seeing people at all different parties is normal
[User Picture]
From:disguisetime
Date:May 16th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
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Was she drunk at the bar? I mean, obviously you're fantastic, but you know how people can seem less appealing when you're sober? She might've been like that.
[User Picture]
From:columbasimplex
Date:May 16th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
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This thought occurred to me, as well. Lord know people like me way more when they've been drinking.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)
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so what you're saying is i should only hang out with drunk girls
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
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maybe a little? i don't think she was trashed or anything
[User Picture]
From:jpallan
Date:May 16th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
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I don't think you're doing anything wrong, but your blasé façade to people leads a lot of them to think that you actually don't actively care, so unless they make the decision to pursue you, this happens.

So I would cultivate a more active, confident persona with ladies you've taken an interest in. Sure, a lot of the time you'll be rebuffed — chemistry isn't always mutual — but you're batting zero right now, no?
[User Picture]
From:disguisetime
Date:May 18th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
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I agree with this.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)

i'll copy what i said to jess

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blah i hate people! when i am active i am creepy, when i am passive i'm blase. what the hell am i supposed to do?
regardless, i don't think i was being particularly passive here - the night i met her, i kissed her hand and asked for her number. that isn't so subtle. i mean i wasn't saying HEY LET'S BONE RIGHT NOW but i called and left voicemails to hang out, etc

and besides, everyone SHOULD be pursuing me. obviously.
[User Picture]
From:jpallan
Date:May 21st, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)

Re: i'll copy what i said to jess

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Everyone Should Be Pursuing Me doesn't seem to be getting your wick dipped, now does it? :P

But yeah. If you called her and gave her your number, then yes, she changed her mind. Just keep on going.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
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blah i hate people! when i am active i am creepy, when i am passive i'm blase. what the hell am i supposed to do?
regardless, i don't think i was being particularly passive here - the night i met her, i kissed her hand and asked for her number. that isn't so subtle. i mean i wasn't saying HEY LET'S BONE RIGHT NOW but i called and left voicemails to hang out, etc

and besides, everyone SHOULD be pursuing me. obviously.
[User Picture]
From:gorzo
Date:May 17th, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
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Maybe it's your powerful bodily funk.

Anyway, I know what you mean. People just fall away from me too sometimes. The best advice I can offer is to not take it to heart. The worthwhile ones always seem to stick around.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:May 18th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
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i can't help it if my funk is powerful. what does she want from me, smooth jazz?
[User Picture]
From:gorzo
Date:May 18th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC)
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NOBODY wants smooth jazz.

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