Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk
kingnixon
  • Mood: alone
  • Music: Nina Gordan - Tonight and the rest of my life

sucks at life

well..... i don't know. somewhere between about 7 and 9 this day took a major downturn. i can't make myself work on that fucking prose journal at all.. i'm so weak willed, it's sad, sometimes.. you know, i honestly can't remember if i did anything at all today before dinner. i assume i mustve done something, but i can't remmeber any of it. got up, showered, lunch, then... nothing til dinner.. the hell?! i must have done something dammit. but anyway, yeah, dinner with julie.. i figure i'll go see a movie or something, so she drops me at the mub (why she had her car i'm not quite clear - forgot to ask).. so what movie are they playing? they're not. nothin. right. so i wander the mub aimlessly for a bit.. and walk back to my dorm. lauri decides i have to come down and let her drive me around, cuz she can do that now.. so i walk out to the shuttle stop. oh wait! i forgot, parking ban is over, the shuttle schedule is all fucked now. so no shuttles on saturday anymore, peachy. so i come back. sit around, talk to the people going to drunken parties.. they all leave. the only person to invite me anywhere is brian, who apparently was walking to hte jokehouse.. nice 40ish min stroll there.. if i wasn't gonna walk to west edge, i'm certainly not walking to there. play some smash bros with nick, the only other person to stay here all nite.. he also had work he wasn't doing, go figure.. walk over to dhop a lil past 11, hey, maybe someone's there.. nope.. the pizza was good tho. back to my dorm again. nick's still watching tv, go figure. crappy snl, crappy other stuff, crappy c-span.. the end of doctor who, that was fun. then red dwarf came on. got i haven't seen that in forever. art tries to explain some weirdass anime show to me. something about giatn robotic angels with lazerbeams and an ancient embryo stabbed by the guy who stabbed jesus and "FIGHTING ROBOT ACTION!" so i decided to just give up on the day and go to bed. but of course i had to write in here first, cuz.. whatever. so i think i have like 5 entries in my shitty journal thing now. i really have to do that. but i apparnetly am driving nastassia and laura to a witch show tomorrow or something. oh well, might be fun.
i don't know. i just feel so so alone.. not just that no one's around. i could be in the middle of a room full of people right now and feel no different. i think i'm expendible, i'm friend windowdressing. it sounds stupid when i try to explain it, but that's really how i feel. nice to have around but to most ppl i don't really matter. o well

no need to beg or borrow
got all my friends out on loan
trade an ocean of laughter for a pool of sorrow...
--dust for life

such a useless stupid day. i think the 1 good thing was dinner
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