June 19th, 2001

victory!

word!!

i'm phuckan caught up and shit! w00t! (hey jamie, i stole your word! neener)

eet's so laaaate! i will now go to sleep. magical. yeah.

and tomorrow us oldskool kiddies descend upon the current british authors class for some good ol' ass whooping. well no, but it'll be fun times all the same. tho i still have no idea when i'm supposed to be there. oh bother..

and then.... POISON. QUIET RIOT. WARRANT. and some other band i forget. teehee for meeeee

i should really go to bed. my brains are melting out of my head oh my poor brains they're melting oh nooooo

monkeys
  • Current Music
    chili peppers - umm i forget what this song is called. track 12 on one hot minute. it's neat. o, it just ended, dang
victory!

theological engineering exam

i fwded this out way back in the day, but was inspired by that_girl to repost.

>THEOLOGICAL ENGINEERING EXAM 1
>5 Questions, 60 Minutes.
>
>You may use a calculator, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, and the Book
>of
>Mormon. The speed of light is c. Show all work. For all problems,
>assume
>a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D. No praying during
>the
>exam.
>
>1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves
>each
>an equal amount L_0. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame,
>how much does God now love Bob?
>
>2. Sven, a Catholic, is in a state of grace. He then has sex with sheep
>S.
>
> a. (8 pts.) What is Sven's atonement coefficient following the act if
> the sheep was not willing?
>
> b. (12 pts.) What if the sheep, while not technically being willing,
> could not be said to mind either?
>
>3. (20 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the
>xy
>plane. Let Sue's soul be at (0,0,5) at t = 0 sec., traveling at 5 m/s
>in
>the direction of the positive z axis. Everything is in Cartesian
>coordinates bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational
>Enlightenment
>attitude towards the Universe. At what time t will Sue be saved?
>(Hint:
>Assume a point soul.)
>
>4. (20 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time t. Cornelia, a saved
>human
>weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing jaws of
>an
>alligator at time t. What mass of meat will remain to the alligator at
>time t + 10 sec.?
>
>5. Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His sin
>level
>for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats .3 kg of pork, and
>enjoys
>it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty much,
>everything.
>
> a. (10 pts.) What is Stan's sin level now?
>
> b. (10 pts.) Stan is one of them Salt Lake City Mormons. He ain't so
> damn smug now, is he?
>
>Extra Credit (10 pts): 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine
>undergo
>transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many
>Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
>
>Hand in exam when done, and may God have mercy on your work.
  • Current Music
    staind - the funeral