December 29th, 2001

victory!

i work here?

your parents must be proud
take your clothes off for the crowd
the most beautiful girl that's ever been born
(that's the way uh huh uh huh i like it)
the bitch is built for porn

--recognizer, built for porn
[it's a crappy song, but it's funny]

so at work they now sell something called "grow a lover". ya know those tiny sponge dinosaurs that you put in a cup of water and they get a lil bigger? it's like that, only people who are meant to be attractive but just kinda deformed. "grows up to 600% of original size". the motto is "if you don't have a lover, grow one". there's a helpful picture on the back of one sitting in a cup of water, steps 1 thru 3, getting bigger. it sure is a good thing htey gave step-by-step instructions of leaving it to sit in a cup of water
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