August 6th, 2002


a loud long silence

i want to do something like this (the making not the collapsing)

i was at "the inn at east hill farm" today. my family has been going there every year since my parents got married. so, 30mumble years. for a week each summer. i used to go up with them for the whole week. i LOVED it there, it was my favorite place in the world. but it steadilly got more and more boring. it's fun for little kids and old folks, but in the middle kinda sucks. so now i just go up 1 day, and they stay the whole week. i was walking around the place today.. every inch of that place, i feel so familiar and home, but at the same time it's sad because i have all these memories of being so happy there and now i'm there and just walking around looking for ANYthing to do. i feel so uncomfortable there now, like i don't fit anymore. growing up is lame.

also, i find farms in general depressing now (the name of the place doesn't lie, it's a resort built on a farm). all those animals standing around apathetically. not that i have any idea what they would be like in the wild (do goats frolic much?), and they aren't in stalls or anything, they have little yards. but it was still unpleasant. not that i'm gonna stop eating them, or anything.

one thing about that place- the same people come back every year, so there's a bunch of people there who've known me since i was fetal. my mom - who is much more concerned about my appearance than i am, i think (she also kept telling me to eat more today: "if you're still hungry, you can get more" "why not have both [desserts]?" etc. i was like, are you trying to fatten me up?) - kept asking me if anyone had said anything about my hair. no one had. finally, she pointed it out to some people. and one guy said i looked like a clown at the circus, "not the big succesful one, the one who didn't make it". what the hell kind of thing is that to say?? and WHY? do i look like a washed up clown? dammit
  • Current Music
    Class Of 99 - Another Brick In The Wall

consider this

just think about the plot of this song for a second..
for those who don't know, here is how the song starts:

my baby left me
left me sad and blue
i didn't know what to do
without my baby baby baby baby..
and then i met his best friend
and he took me to his house
and i said, i said
(what'd you say?)
i said..
put it in my mouth
in my motherfucking mouth
she is upset. instead of moping around and being depressed and writing shitty toni braxton songs (unnnnnbreaaaaak my hearrrrrtttttt), her response is to go up to some guy and demand to give him a blowjob. BRILLIANT! now, stay with me here. everyone has a friend or two who they don't talk to much, and it seems like every time they hear from this person they're upset and looking for help/comfort. yes? think how annoying this is. now, imagine, instead of asking for help, whenever these people are upset they ask to give you oral sex. IT WOULD BE REVOLUTIONARY!

also, i'll point out that the next song winamp chose to play is king missile - detachable penis. that's deep, man.

on a vaguely related note, read this. i think that is fascinating. comments?

and cuz it's a cool magazine, here's another fun thing to read:
i was gonna link to more, but apparently they don't have everything from the magazine on the site. i'm surprised they have as much as they do, really. but anyway, other fun things: people who have "ghost encounter" type experiences can have similar experiences triggered by magnetic fields. so apparently, if you think you see a ghost, it might just be your stereo. also, bright (non flourescent) lights reduce hunger. so if you're dieting, don't sit around in a dark room all day.

another link, for fun and learning:
  • Current Music
    Akinyele with Kia Jeffries - - - Put It In Your Mouth

legal eagle

other than how long you're allowed to keep the product, are libraries and mp3-trading programs different in any fundamental way? did book publishers ever sue the govt to stop libraries? (or do libraries need the publisher's permission to stock their books?) in fact, libraries are better, because mp3s are rarely cd quality. and due to the way the businesses work, book publishers run more risk than music companies when a book/cd doesn't sell (publishers buy back copies of books that aren't selling, but a record store is stuck with all the cds they order until they get rid of them)
what would you think of a napster where all the songs only played for a few weeks after you downloaded them?

also.. for those of you who have mp3s of bands you don't own the cd for.. how do you justify that? is that particularly different than stealing the cd itself?
  • Current Music
    James Kochalka Superstar - - - Ocean of Girls