vanessa: why does the millenium falcon have so many bumps all over it?
me: wind resistance.
annoying guy: are you retarded?
i hope he thought i was serious
there are too many people who i like a lot, but don't like most of their friends. it's frustrating
speaking of which, i have found this year that i am disliking a lot more people i meet than i used to. so many people piss me off! i don't know if this means i am getting more discriminating in my taste, or if everyone else sucks more
i don't understand my laziness. such simple things, many that i outright WANT to do, and they never happen. i'd rather sit around and accomplish nothing and wander the dorm then call someone i havent talked to in entirely too long, or read a book i'm 90% finished, or put a fucking sheet on my bed so i'm not sleeping only on the pad thing over the mattress. etc. etc. i don't understand why i (don't) do these things
did i mention it's almost 6am and i havent started my paper yet?
i'll tell you what doesn't help though. a small pile of years ago, i was rather depressed, and thinkign about my life. my life then, as now, was for the most part quite good. i have good friends, caring family, no money troubles to speak of, health, doing pretty well in school, etc. but, i thought, i am depressed so somethign must be wrong. what is missing from my life? my mind skipped over any internal problems and settled on the one big external lack: a girlfriend. hey, it told me, that's what youre missing! taht's what you need to be happy!
i believed this for awihle, until i realized it was more to do with me than my life. but all teh same, i still in some ways blamed that lack. i figured (and this was also my dad's theory) i wasn't motivated because i had nothing particular to work towards/for. after all, why should i do homework, or clean my room, or shave? i don't get much from it, and who would care? so now ive found someone who cares and who i care about, and how motivated am i?
it's 6am and i haven't started my paper yet
oh well, guess it's something more in me that needs fixing. i don't know what to do with anything
gahh i hate being sick. i just coughed up the world's biggest phlegm wad and almost threw up before i managed to turn and spit/drool it into the trash. tho i guess i shoudlnt complain; my temp is still around normal.. :/
i love writing 4 page papers where i run out of anything worth saying on teh 2nd page. grr.
i also love taht the paper was due 5 minutes ago, i probably won't finish and print it for another 5 minutes, and then i have a 10 minute walk TO the class.
I AM SO GOOD AT THIS.