June 8th, 2003


hey stranger

how can i tell if someone likes me? (short of just asking them straight out, cuz i'm a wuss. also i dont know if i would get an honest answer). i mean, some of my friends, i would basically never hear from them if i didnt seek them out. if you can remove someone from your life by takign them off your buddylist, what sort of relationship is that? but when i do talk to them, they seem happy to be talking to me, but maybe they're just being nice and hoping i'll take the hint (i've been known to do this before, again cuz i'm a wuss). i don't know. some people, i'm the same way with - i almost never talk to them if they don't start, but i like them and still consider them a friend. i don't know why i don't talk to them more, it just doesn't occur to me. so i suppose they'r enot particularly close friends, but still, i'm not biding my time until they go away. and by the same token, there are friends who don't talk to me very often, or not unless i start, and it doesn't bother me at all. some people i could not talk to for a month and we'd talk again and be great, and some people disapear for a week and they may as well have moved to the moon. i think it bothers me if i like someone more than they like me.

i know i'm gonna get someone saying "oh it doesn't matter what other people think. don't worry about it. if they dont like you it's their problem" etc. and that is all true as far as it goes, but oh well. i do care what people think, probably more than i should, but if i try to pretend i don't all it would accomplsih is more anxiety on top of it.
  • Current Music
    cardigans - iron man

homegirls, for once forget ya got class

jon and kevin informed me i need a girlfriend and/or to make out more than anyone they know. i don't think i like that. i don't think i dispute it either.
update: i have been informed that they meant i deserve it more, not need it more.

oh and mike was all impressed that i like the gwenmars. he loves them and didn't know anyone else who did who he hadn't gotten into them. and later he mentioned thou, adn i just got their cd recently and it's good, and he was all impressed again. so yeah, mike has good taste. stuff like that happens sometimes, where i like obscure things and impress people, and it makes me feel cool. does this make me a snob?

i think i forgot how to comfort people. i used to be good at it. back in the day when me and all my good friends were depressed all the time and we spent a lot of time comforting each other, i seemed to be able to accomplish somethiing. not actually solve anything neccesarily, but they'd feel a little better at least. now, someone is sad and comes to me and i don't know what to say
  • Current Music
    digital underground - dowhatchalike

(no subject)

phil teacher finally wrote back. he'd been away somehwere is why he never answered before. since grades are already in he can't just go change it, but if i petition the dean he will support me getting an incomplete and finishing up. this is good.
  • Current Music
    chumbawamba - tubthumper