July 29th, 2005

angry face

(no subject)

know what rules? i'm pretty sure i pulled an ass muscle. seriously. i did something to it yesterday, and it was fine today until a little while ago. i decided i should do a little packing, bent down to pick up some stuff, and went AAAAUGH. i'm pretty sure i used latent psychic powers to not fall on my head, because there's no way my back could have supported me right then.
there's a muscle that starts either in your lower back or upper ass, i don't know which, and it goes around the outside of your hip and down the front of your thigh, and maybe onward for all i know. apparently mine are a little tighter than is good; they've bothered me before. i've never had one straight up shriek at me before though. basically, as long as i don't lean forward at all and don't put any weight on my right leg, i'm ok. just the throbbing ache along its length. no prob!

so who wants to come over here and massage my right buttcheek?

note: anyone with serious bodily issues that are actually worth complaining about, ignore this post.
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PETA (in no way affiliated with my friend peta, who is rad)

SPECIAL NOTE: further research has come to light. see after article.

The following story is from This is True dated 17 July 2005. It is Copyright 2005 Randy Cassingham, all rights reserved, and reprinted here with permission:

"Ethical" Defined
After more than 100 dead dogs were dumped in a trash dumpster over four weeks, police in Ahoskie, N.C., kept an eye on the trash receptacle behind a supermarket. Sure enough, a van drove up and officers watched the occupants throw in heavy plastic bags. They detained the two people in the van and found 18 dead dogs in plastic bags in the dumpster, including puppies; 13 more dead dogs were still in the van. Police say the van is registered to the headquarters of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and the two occupants, Andrew B. Cook, 24, and Adria Joy Hinkle, 27, identified themselves as PETA employees. An autopsy performed on one of the dogs found it was healthy before it was killed. Police say PETA has been picking up the animals -- alive -- from North Carolina animal shelters, promising to find them good homes. Cook and Hinkle have been charged with 62 felony counts of animal cruelty. In response to the arrests PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said it's against the group's policy for employees to dump animals in the trash, but "that for some animals in North Carolina, there is no kinder option than euthanasia." (Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald) ...Oops, my mistake: that's "Playing God" Defined.

In his author's notes section, Cassingham had more to say about this story:
The more I learn about PETA, the less I think of them. The story of them killing animals isn't even unusual. According to PETA's own filings, in 2004 PETA killed 86.3 percent of the animals entrusted to its care -- a number that's rising, not falling. Meanwhile, the SPCA in PETA's home town (Norfolk, Va.) was able to find loving homes for 73 percent of the animals put in its care. A shortage of funds? Nope: last year PETA took in $29 million in tax-exempt donations. It simply has other priorities for the funds, like funding terrorism (yes, really). But don't take my word for it: I got my figures from http://www.PETAkillsAnimals.com -- and they have copies of PETA's state and federal filings to back it up. The bottom line: if you donate money to PETA because you think they care for and about animals, you need to think some more. PETA literally yells and screams about how others "kill animals" but this is how they operate? Pathetic.
And you know what I wonder? PETA's official count of animals they kill is 86.3 percent. But if they're going around picking up animals, killing them while they drive around and not even giving them a chance to be adopted, and then destroying the evidence by dumping the bodies in the trash, are those deaths being reported? My guess: no. While 86.3 percent is awful, the actual number is probably much, much higher. How dare they lecture anyone about the "ethical" treatment of animals!
(This is True is a weekly column featuring weird-but-true news stories from around the world, and has been published since 1994. Click the link for info about free subscriptions.)


of course, as an omnivore, i have no moral high ground from which to tell PETA they can go suck eggs. on the other hand, this is clearly ridiculous and underhanded, and they are hypocritical fucks. PETA, you can go suck eggs.

NEW!!
so as it turns out, this is a (it appears to me) more balanced interpretation of what went on-
one team of PETA representatives picked up animals from shelters, euthanized them with a more humane method than the shelters use which, however, they are not certified to perform. they did this in the back of the pickup van and then dumped the bodies in the trash. PETA's president stated that dumping the bodies is against PETA policy but did not otherwise comment on their specific actions. a detective said the shelter director said they had falsely promised that they would find the animals good homes, however, the county health director said that they had asked for animals scheduled to be euthanized so that they could give them a more humane death. or it may have been a tragic miscommunication where they expected to recieve scheduled animals but (for whatever reason) did not - they may have mispoke, or been misunderstood. reports are conflicting.



on a related note-
i am going to miss alberta when i move. she is SUCH a sweet cat, and since my room somehow became her homebase i've spent a lot of time in the past months petting and cuddling her. seriously, her life - when she isn't busy throwing up out of spite[1] or breaking into kevin's closet via ninja stealth magic[2] - is spent sleeping curled up in my doorway or under my desk, or lying on my chair. and when i'm in the chair, she just switches to my lap and continues like nothing changed[4]. the chair just got a bit taller, is all. who am i going to pet in washington?? i've given up on hermit crabs; i still don't know why, but clearly i make them become dead somehow. i need some small defenseless (and cute) animal to imprison in my apartment so i can shower it with incomprehensible human love.
kaitlyn is taking her in though, so at least she'll go to a good home.

[1] debbie tells me, one day she was sleeping in the room across the hall. alberta - who had been asleep in the doorway of my room - strolled into the room, got maybe a foot from debbie, threw up, turned around, strolled back out, and went back to sleep. if estlin (the cat who once punched me in the face) had done that to me, i would not have been at all surprised. but alberta is nice!
[2] how does she do this? it is a mystery to everyone. somehow alberta will get into kevin's room, open his closet door, go in, and close the door most of the way behind her, all without being spotted. this is the same cat who was routinely outwitted by a half-deflated balloon[3].
[3] she was bizarrely terrified of this balloon, but loved playing with the ribbon tied to it. hilarity ensues.
[4] she is by far the mellowest cat i have encountered. this is due partially to her admirably zenlike nature, and partially to her stupidity. you can pick her up, put her on your head, and she will just lie there and purr. sometimes she just doesn't seem to notice things going on right in front of her. she likes to run after things tossed down the hall, but half the time will manage to run in the wrong direction. hilarity ensues.
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