August 31st, 2006

exploding branez

work is for jerks

as you may know, i sell plasma. it's 45 bucks for 2 visits a week, which isn't bad considering most of what i have to do involves lying down and reading. except today was butchery! first, some lady who had no nametag[1] stuck me and it wasn't working properly, so joel the supervising vampire came over to adjust the needle, which involved - from my perspective - aimlessly wiggling it around inside my arm and occasionally jamming it in really deep. now this oddly didn't hurt[2], except when he stuck it in deep (oh baby oh baby), but watching him swing it around was unnerving to say the least. the initial stab doesn't bother me at all (except for the sharp stabby pain of course, but that's momentary), but this seriously freaked me out a little. of course, i don't actually watch the needle going in, so maybe watching this was a mistake. but anyway, so after doing that for awhile he decided that arm was a wash, and rather than make hamburger of it, we would just switch to the other arm.
now normally i get stabbed in the left arm, because for some reason the blood flows out of that arm noticably faster, but now we were on stupid sluggish righty. righty was working even less than usual, and joel came to do more adjustment. his methods seemed a bit less whack-a-mole this time, and eventually they struck red gold and the bleeding proceeded very slowly apace. also occasionally the machine would beep at me and i could feel my vein quiver (THIS FEELS WEIRD!!!), and someone would have to come and turn the machine down so it would work slower. i am going to wake up tomorrow with huge bruises on the inside elbow of both arms, and will basically look like i'd been shooting heroin.

so anyway, in conclusion, i think i am gonna not donate for awhile, because this was a scarring experience for poor daniel.

[1] she kept asking what i did today and what i was going to do later, seemingly wanting exact details of my various adventures[3]. she was just making conversation i suppose, but it felt like a light-hearted grilling.
[2] actually i couldn't feel it at all, which made watching it all the creepier.
[3] this is a lie, i have had no various adventures today. today was this, plus work being really goddamn stupid[4], plus watching "a cat in the brain" which i got solely for the absurd 'snakes on a plane'esque title. it was one of lucio fulci's last films, apparently, and boy did it suck.
[4] i'm sure lauri will rant about it in her journal sooner or later about this, but i don't feel like it. suffice to say, working for this school is for losers, and i give notice as soon as i find somebody else who wants to give me money. do YOU want to give me money?
okay, i will say a little more. we had to go to this meeting today where some dude who drove up from oregon gave us some bullshit fuzzy meaningless tony robbins infomercial style crap vapid seminar about dignity and respect. he showed us an example of honor and respect by assigning us homework (?!) of reading the rest of the shitty packet that we didn't go over because he spent all his 2.5 hours telling unrelated anecdotes from his life and clumsily reading us jokes he ripped off from the internet. as in, he printed them directly off a website or an email or something, and stood there slowly reading them to us. if andy kaufman had done it, it would've been a smash.
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