March 28th, 2007


i'm always surprised at how fuckin boring depression is

woo i have a dr appointment for 4/4. i thought i was going to have to wait until friggin may but i called yet another doctor and lo they had an earlier slot. then i just need to get referred to a shrink, at which point i will have to wait even longer, and then get a prescription and wait even longer for it to work. i just want some fuckin happy pills.
on a sortof related note, come june i will be able to swap rooms, especially for the summer as a lot of people will be gone. so the question beckons: should i get a single? i want one, because yeah single, but i am realizing that it would probably be unhealthy for me and i would hide in my room a lot, as i do sometimes. as i've been doing lately, even with a roommate, so i guess it's not foolproof. you know, i didn't quite realize til sunday night that i was depressed again. i mean i knew to some extent, since i was trying to find a doctor and all, but that night i was like oh hey that's why i'm doing all this, that makes sense.
i am falling asleep. i wasn't able to get my usual tuesday nap because i had to bring mike to a dr appointment to get tazered and stabbed. goodnight!
  • Current Music
    ben listens to really good music when lesley isn't here


I remember I used to despise sheep for being so profoundly stupid. I'd seen them eat and eat and eat, I'd watched dogs outsmart whole flocks of them, I'd chased them and laughed at the way they ran, watched them get themselves into all sorts of stupid, tangled situations, and I'd thought they quite deserved to end up as mutton, and that being used as wool-making machines was too good for them. It was years and a long slow process, before I eventually realised just what sheep really represented: not their own stupidity, but our power, our avarice and egotism.
After I'd come to understand evolution and know a little about history and farming, I saw that the thick white animals I laughed at for following each other around and getting caught in bushes were the product of generations of farmers as much as generations of sheep; we made them, we moulded them from the wild, smart survivors that were their ancestors so that they would become docile, frightened, stupid, tasty wool-producers. We didn't want them to be smart, and to some extent their aggression and their intelligence went together...
The same principle applies to chickens and cows and almost anything we've been able to get our greedy, hungry hands on for long enough. It occasionally occurs to me that something the same might have happened to women but, attractive though the theory might be, I suspect I'm wrong.
-Iain Banks, The Wasp Factory
  • Current Music
    the mr T experience - love is dead - i'm like yeah, but she's all no
aghast crowd

(no subject)

i just got dinner and a show. i made spaghetti and spinach with an amazing sauce i invented (mashed up black olives, vegan mayo, butter, tomato paste, vanilla soy milk, cock sauce, dill, ginger), then i went out onto the porch with my food and found dan goldstein on the ground with mark glaring and everyone else laughing. apparently dan put pubes on mark's burger earlier and when he found out he kicked dan in the balls.

theherocomplex (3:58:10 PM): JHQ $pui$ ^t!#$^*({qnasdrhk:a
theherocomplex (3:58:13 PM): WHAT
King Nixon (3:58:17 PM): I KNOW
theherocomplex (3:58:28 PM): SO FUCKING GROSS AND AWESOME

and now i have to walk 20 minutes to give the car place my registration. and then potentially walk back, i'm not sure if theyre done yet or not. and tonight, seeing the host!
  • Current Music
    Ted Leo and The Pharmacists - Little Dawn