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February 5th, 2002

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10:06 am - never sleep
o god.... i just had sleep paralysis.. according to this site, 6% of people have had it once.. i've had it like 4 times[2]. o fuck is it scary.
so iv'e been having really vivid weird dreams all night (which i promptly forgot when this happened of course.. all i remember is the one right before where i was fleeing people who wanted to carve me up for a sandwich, jumped off a cliff, died, was haunting my house in some sort of groundhog day state, and having a really cool time cuz the afterlife rules and i was hanging out with ghosts of my friends and random hot girls) when i suddenly am woken up by someone slipping into the bed behind me. theyre pressed against me with a hand on my side.. i'm too scared to move and my eyes are still closed. i'm terrified and adrenaline starts pumping and my body is tingling from it. i hope maybe i'm still dreaming but i manage to open my eyes - with a lot of effort - and i can see i'm in my room so i must be awake[1]. now i'm hoping maybe someone is playing a creepy fucking joke. i can hear this guy whispering in my ear but i'm so freaked out and he's so quiet i can't quite make it all out. something about aliens and my home and anal probe and "...people who resist. you won't resist, will you?" and that last question especially sounds so sinister and threatening. by now i know it's not a joke, this isnt anyone i know. my body is tingling even more and i know it's not from adrenaline but whatever he's doing. it's especially bad where his hand is on my side, it feels like it's burning, i don' know what to do, i feel like he's waiting for me to answer his question but i don't know hwat to say and i'm panicking...
then i wake up for real. i'm jumpy as all hell and too freaked out to get out of bed for a half hour, i'm scared to roll over and shut off the alarm which is set to go off in like 5 minutes.. and i can still feel the tingling on my side where he was touching me
and now, like 45 minutes later, i'm still scared to death

[1] upon really waking up i realized there were a few differences: the bed was at normal bed height and not raised up, and there was a weird poster on the wall. but that all seemed normal in the dream of course
[2] i dont remember the last 2 so well, i know one of them i didnt actually hallucinate anything so much as get this intense spideysense idea that something vague and horrible was nearby and coming to get me. i dont remember the other at all, but i think it was another thing behind me - i've never actually seen anyone during this.
the first time was the strangest because it was partially at will.. i dont know if i was dreaming or awake at the time, but i just discovered somehow one night that i could will myself into this weird dreamstate where i was totally aware i was dreaming. it wasnt a lucid dream tho cuz i coudlnt effect anything. the dream would be me lying in this coffin-shaped-but-larger iron box with chains on the walls and flickery lighting and i could hear dripping water and it was right out of a bad horror movie set. there was no one else there and i wasnt scared to be there, tho i maybe should have been. but hte thing is i'd be there in teh dream, then wake up to being totally paralyzed and having trouble breathing.. and after a few seconds i'd manage to move my leg just a tiny bit - with intense pain - and then i'd be totally fine. and i did this like 3 times that night just cuz i was so fascinated that i was able to induce that in myself and i had no idea what was going on - not that i do now. and i've never been able to do it since then


(6 shots upside the head | en garde!)


Date:February 5th, 2002 09:58 am (UTC)

this probably won't make you feel better...

I was watching a special on the discovery channel or one of its affiliates about ppl thinking they're being attacked by succubi/incubi and it being sleep paralysis combined with a nightmare. the most frequent thing they see is a horrid old harridan and a dark man whose facial features they can't see. then Jamie called me, and I don't know anything else because I was too busy telling Jamie how scared I was by the program.

*many hugs* let me know if this happens on your visit, kay? If it does, we'll see if we can find a way to change it somehow. *goes off to play scientific researcher girl*
[User Picture]
Date:February 8th, 2002 09:29 am (UTC)

Re: this probably won&#39;t make you feel better...

yeah, that link i had at the bottom of the post was to a msg board where people were writing about what they'd seen.. i dint see anything about a harridan but the dark man with no face showed up the majority. and there were a couple people talkin about a sinister long white man with long white hair and long white sideburns. i don't know how threatened i could feel by someone with long white sideburns..

thank you.. most likely it won't happen tho, like i said this was the 4th time in my life
[User Picture]
Date:February 5th, 2002 07:39 pm (UTC)
Jinkies, Scoob. That must suck. Closest I've come is from alcohol withdrawal (DTs anyone?) after a four-day drinking binge in college. I was in bed for an entire day and don't think I slept at all, but was still having fucked up dreams and hallucinating some sort of presence in my room. I actually vocally asked it at one point what it wanted from me.
[User Picture]
Date:February 5th, 2002 11:40 pm (UTC)
sounds like me after my four day nyquil binge.. ;)
[User Picture]
Date:February 5th, 2002 09:04 pm (UTC)
hm, you know, i think i may have had that when i was a kid.. i remember afterwards figuring.. and hoping that the whole fucking thing was just a dream, but it was either that, or i was dreaming basically what was described there and wasn't actually awake. in any case, don't make yourself do that! eek.
[User Picture]
Date:February 8th, 2002 09:27 am (UTC)
well if you coudlnt tell it probably doesn't make much difference whcih it actually was..

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