Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk

never sleep

o god.... i just had sleep paralysis.. according to this site, 6% of people have had it once.. i've had it like 4 times[2]. o fuck is it scary.
so iv'e been having really vivid weird dreams all night (which i promptly forgot when this happened of course.. all i remember is the one right before where i was fleeing people who wanted to carve me up for a sandwich, jumped off a cliff, died, was haunting my house in some sort of groundhog day state, and having a really cool time cuz the afterlife rules and i was hanging out with ghosts of my friends and random hot girls) when i suddenly am woken up by someone slipping into the bed behind me. theyre pressed against me with a hand on my side.. i'm too scared to move and my eyes are still closed. i'm terrified and adrenaline starts pumping and my body is tingling from it. i hope maybe i'm still dreaming but i manage to open my eyes - with a lot of effort - and i can see i'm in my room so i must be awake[1]. now i'm hoping maybe someone is playing a creepy fucking joke. i can hear this guy whispering in my ear but i'm so freaked out and he's so quiet i can't quite make it all out. something about aliens and my home and anal probe and "...people who resist. you won't resist, will you?" and that last question especially sounds so sinister and threatening. by now i know it's not a joke, this isnt anyone i know. my body is tingling even more and i know it's not from adrenaline but whatever he's doing. it's especially bad where his hand is on my side, it feels like it's burning, i don' know what to do, i feel like he's waiting for me to answer his question but i don't know hwat to say and i'm panicking...
then i wake up for real. i'm jumpy as all hell and too freaked out to get out of bed for a half hour, i'm scared to roll over and shut off the alarm which is set to go off in like 5 minutes.. and i can still feel the tingling on my side where he was touching me
and now, like 45 minutes later, i'm still scared to death

[1] upon really waking up i realized there were a few differences: the bed was at normal bed height and not raised up, and there was a weird poster on the wall. but that all seemed normal in the dream of course
[2] i dont remember the last 2 so well, i know one of them i didnt actually hallucinate anything so much as get this intense spideysense idea that something vague and horrible was nearby and coming to get me. i dont remember the other at all, but i think it was another thing behind me - i've never actually seen anyone during this.
the first time was the strangest because it was partially at will.. i dont know if i was dreaming or awake at the time, but i just discovered somehow one night that i could will myself into this weird dreamstate where i was totally aware i was dreaming. it wasnt a lucid dream tho cuz i coudlnt effect anything. the dream would be me lying in this coffin-shaped-but-larger iron box with chains on the walls and flickery lighting and i could hear dripping water and it was right out of a bad horror movie set. there was no one else there and i wasnt scared to be there, tho i maybe should have been. but hte thing is i'd be there in teh dream, then wake up to being totally paralyzed and having trouble breathing.. and after a few seconds i'd manage to move my leg just a tiny bit - with intense pain - and then i'd be totally fine. and i did this like 3 times that night just cuz i was so fascinated that i was able to induce that in myself and i had no idea what was going on - not that i do now. and i've never been able to do it since then

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