ps: i'm not even going to try to get this accurate, because it didnt make sense in the first place. but it was something like this. also bear in mind that i kept interrupting myself to point out that i was stalling because i had no idea what to do next (such as their excessively long wanderings thru the store, whcih i left out here, because i didnt have any idea what sort of present they coudl find), or because i kept doing stupid things like knocking a stack of cards off my bookshelf. i was intending to pack while i talked to her, but the sum total of my effort was to move a piece of paper from the floor to a chair and to clumsily knock stuff on the floor. i made negative progress. whoo! but it's all good
one day, in the deepest darkest jungles of deepest darkest new jersey, there was a dog named horse. it was amy's birthday today, and horse was very excited. but he didn't know what to get her for her birthday.. he wanted to go shopping, but he couldn't because a) he was a dog, and not allowed in stores, and b) he was a dog, and had no money. so he went into the deep dark forest (i don't know why he had to go to a forest inside a jungle) to consult the wise old owl, also named horse. oh, i should point out that amy was actually a lioness named amy. originally she was going to be a horse named amy, but the real amy vetoed that, not wanting ot be a horse. apparently lions are better. but anyway.
horse the dog asks horse the owl what to get amy the lion for her birthday, and furthermore how to get it. the owl considers this for a moment, and replies that the dog should seek out horse the dan (she said here that i coudlnt be named horse, because i'm named dan. i said i was a dan named horse, just like the owl named horse or hte dog named horse. this is silly, so obviously correct) and have him (me) bring him (dog) to the Presents For Amy Store. this isn't a very imaginative forest when it comes to names. so horse the dog went searching and searching thru the forest until finding me. but he still needed a way to get INTO the store, since dogs arent allowed. so it's decided i will say he is my seeing eye dog and pretend to be blind.
we set off to the store, whcih is conveniently located right next door. when we go in, horse the clerk immediately runs up and says dogs arent allowed, but i say that he's my seeing eye dog and i need him. the clerk walks off, muttering. we wander around looking for a present. finally, at the very end of the very last aisle in the very back of the very top shelf, horse the dog finds a box of love. i assume he buys it, but a) he has no money and b) i dont think i ever mentioned that. so maybe he steals it, or i pay for it. but yeah. so we wrap the box up in a pretty pink bow and, by some method i forget, go to amy's house in the deepest darkest jungles of deepest darkest lattimer. dog rings the doorbell and she answers. i assume she was then given the present, but i forget how the story ended. so,