King Nixon (3:05:08 AM): mostly i am
King Nixon (3:05:15 AM): i am having a good time
King Nixon (3:05:21 AM): but there are some peopl ei miss os much
King Nixon (3:05:26 AM): i'm so lonely a lot
ijustwanamakeout (3:05:59 AM): who do you miss?
King Nixon (3:06:23 AM): freinds
King Nixon (3:06:26 AM): people ive lost touch with
King Nixon (3:06:37 AM): i get attached to people too easily i think
ijustwanamakeout (3:06:51 AM): eh i wouldn't know
King Nixon (3:06:56 AM): why
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:05 AM): the vibe i get from you is a steady blah about people
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:12 AM): you woldn't care or not whether yo usaw them or not
King Nixon (3:07:12 AM): really?
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:15 AM): you just like company
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:17 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:19 AM): thats my vibe
King Nixon (3:07:26 AM): o man
King Nixon (3:07:27 AM): not at all
King Nixon (3:07:34 AM): i'm so defensive. i hide myself totally
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:36 AM): ah
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:38 AM): ok
ijustwanamakeout (3:07:42 AM): wel thats what i get i guess.
King Nixon (3:07:51 AM): o no
King Nixon (3:07:54 AM): i dont wnat ot be projecting that
King Nixon (3:08:07 AM): that i dont care
King Nixon (3:08:08 AM): fuck
ijustwanamakeout (3:08:16 AM): oh dont get all pissy
ijustwanamakeout (3:08:19 AM): its not that you dont care
ijustwanamakeout (3:08:25 AM): you're just like whatevs
ijustwanamakeout (3:08:28 AM): there is a difference
King Nixon (3:08:37 AM): i'm not pissy. i'm honest
King Nixon (3:08:51 AM): i'm NOT whatevs. thats the thing. i just dont act the way i feel. ever
ijustwanamakeout (3:08:56 AM): you take too much of what people say to you into consideration.
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:02 AM): you know yourself and you know how yo uact
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:06 AM): if you feel you act just fine, then you do
King Nixon (3:09:06 AM): i dont know how i act
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:09 AM): yeah you do.
King Nixon (3:09:09 AM): i ahve no idea how i seem to peopel
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:13 AM): everyone does.
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:18 AM): just be honest with youself
King Nixon (3:09:32 AM): i try but i cant tell if i am
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:38 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:45 AM): you are very reserved with people
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:51 AM): like you seem afraid to jump into conversatoins
ijustwanamakeout (3:09:57 AM): or afraid to like let loose or something.
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:03 AM): i can see you when you arei n groups of people
King Nixon (3:10:05 AM): im terrifed of everyone
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:14 AM): you listen to the conversatoin, looking for a place to stick yourself in
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:23 AM): you think too much, you dont just let yourself go.
King Nixon (3:10:31 AM): i knowww
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:35 AM): so dont do it
King Nixon (3:10:36 AM): but id ont know what to do about it
King Nixon (3:10:39 AM): I CANT NOT DO IT
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:40 AM): you are too afraid of what people think of you.
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:43 AM): thats why you do it
King Nixon (3:10:45 AM): yes
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:47 AM): but think of it this way
ijustwanamakeout (3:10:57 AM): if people dont like who you are, they aren't worth it to hang ou with anywa
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:05 AM): they are of no value to you, since you do not get along with them
King Nixon (3:11:09 AM): ive heard all the aphorisms
King Nixon (3:11:10 AM): it doesnt matter
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:11 AM): so just be yourself, if they like you, then great, if not
King Nixon (3:11:12 AM): its in my head
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:13 AM): then fuckit
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:15 AM): i guess
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:19 AM): but i'd rather live my life that wa
King Nixon (3:11:25 AM): i want to
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:26 AM): being myself, and have people know me for me, and like me for me
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:33 AM): than have people like me and know me for what i show them
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:38 AM): i am not happy when i am liket hat
ijustwanamakeout (3:11:45 AM): i am not happy around people thatm ake me do that.
King Nixon (3:13:18 AM): i cant do it. i want to
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:31 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:33 AM): you will one dya
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:38 AM): with people you are really comfortbale around.
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:42 AM): then they will be your friennnds
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:43 AM): 4life
ijustwanamakeout (3:13:44 AM): :-)
King Nixon (3:14:17 AM): its nothing to do with the people i'm around
King Nixon (3:14:22 AM): i'm fucked up. id ont know what happend
ijustwanamakeout (3:15:40 AM): yo just need to find yourself
ijustwanamakeout (3:15:44 AM): and be comfortbale with yourself
ijustwanamakeout (3:15:54 AM): then you will be fine around other people
King Nixon (3:15:57 AM): i dont know how
King Nixon (3:16:21 AM): i dont know how to find myself or even look for myself or anything. i'm jus tlost
ijustwanamakeout (3:16:47 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:16:52 AM): well i'd say dont look
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:00 AM): just go with your first impulse
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:03 AM): and follow your consicence
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:06 AM): and you will find yourself
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:08 AM): if that makes sense
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:13 AM): dont change yourself of htink
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:16 AM): or think rather
ijustwanamakeout (3:17:17 AM): just be
King Nixon (3:17:35 AM): i cant be and not think. thinking is me
King Nixon (3:17:50 AM): im just a ball of think
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:06 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:07 AM): well stop
King Nixon (3:18:11 AM): HOW
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:16 AM): dont hold back
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:20 AM): if you want to do or say something
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:21 AM): say it
King Nixon (3:18:32 AM): i WNAT TO but i cant
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:33 AM): before your mind goes "oh they might not think that is funny or oh that is stupid"
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:37 AM): just try it
ijustwanamakeout (3:18:38 AM): idiot.
King Nixon (3:18:53 AM): andy i try
King Nixon (3:18:53 AM): i cant
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:28 AM): you can
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:32 AM): you are just holding back too much.
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:36 AM): i dont know what else to say
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:39 AM): because anyone can.
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:47 AM): i always held back
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:53 AM): then i came to college and said fuck it
ijustwanamakeout (3:19:58 AM): these people dont know me, i am going to be me
ijustwanamakeout (3:20:01 AM): if they dont like it, oh wel.
ijustwanamakeout (3:20:10 AM): and look now, i have so many great friends
ijustwanamakeout (3:20:19 AM): who like me for who i am, and respect me and love me for who i am
ijustwanamakeout (3:20:25 AM): not for what i think they want me to be
King Nixon (3:22:00 AM): i dont try to bewhat peole want. id otn know what anyone wants, ic ant read people
King Nixon (3:22:03 AM): i'm just afraid
King Nixon (3:22:04 AM): i dont know
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:23 AM): well then i dont know what to say
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:28 AM): other than that you fear what you do not know
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:34 AM): and you have to face it
King Nixon (3:22:34 AM): I DONT KNWO ANYTHING
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:41 AM): dude
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:44 AM): who cares what people want
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:51 AM): doing what people want isn't going to make you happy
ijustwanamakeout (3:22:53 AM): doing what you want will
King Nixon (3:23:12 AM): thats what i saying. i'm not trying to dow hat people want. i avhe on idea what people want. thats nothign to do with it
King Nixon (3:23:26 AM): i dont know i dont know
ijustwanamakeout (3:23:37 AM): well i can't say anything else
ijustwanamakeout (3:23:47 AM): other than i just do what feels right, and i dont care abuot anything else.
ijustwanamakeout (3:23:54 AM): i dont do what it is easy or fun, i do what is right
ijustwanamakeout (3:23:56 AM): if that makes sense.
King Nixon (3:24:56 AM): im sorry
King Nixon (3:24:59 AM): i didnt mean to do this
King Nixon (3:25:04 AM): i was happy an hr ago. waht the fuck
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:22 AM): ahaha
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:23 AM): do what?
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:29 AM): i dont mind talking to you
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:40 AM): i am just reading websites on sex postions and talking to you
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:42 AM): i hope i am helping
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:46 AM): thats realy all i care about
ijustwanamakeout (3:25:51 AM): if i am upsetting you i'll just shutup.
King Nixon (3:25:57 AM): youre not upsteting me
King Nixon (3:26:01 AM): youre helpign as much as nyone would
King Nixon (3:26:02 AM): i dontkw
King Nixon (3:26:05 AM): i dont have anything new to say
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:08 AM): yeah
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:12 AM): well its frustrating
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:15 AM): and you dont konw how to change it
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:20 AM): i just say dont hold back.
King Nixon (3:26:20 AM): ive talked about everything i can and nothing ahppens and i just feel worse
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:26 AM): just dont hold back
King Nixon (3:26:27 AM): i dotn want to hold back
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:28 AM): thats all i say
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:30 AM): wel then dont.
King Nixon (3:26:35 AM): i cant not
King Nixon (3:26:36 AM): i dont know how
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:37 AM): jump in
King Nixon (3:26:42 AM): i dont know hot
King Nixon (3:26:43 AM): w
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:44 AM): dont sit and dangle your feetin the water
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:47 AM): FUCKING TALK MORE
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:51 AM): and meet new people
ijustwanamakeout (3:26:55 AM): just walk up to people and talk to them
ijustwanamakeout (3:27:00 AM): it is scary at first but it doesn't matter.
ijustwanamakeout (3:27:02 AM): you get over it.
King Nixon (3:27:05 AM): andy its not that simple
King Nixon (3:27:11 AM): if i could just fukin do it i would do it
ijustwanamakeout (3:27:59 AM): no
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:00 AM): everyone can
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:09 AM): its like getting into water
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:14 AM): you can either wade in really slow and be cold
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:16 AM): or just jump in
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:17 AM): get uesd to it
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:18 AM): and be fine
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:27 AM): i can't is a stupid saying
ijustwanamakeout (3:28:32 AM): yo ucan do anything you want if you just let yourself./
King Nixon (3:29:48 AM): I DONT KNOW HOW TO LET MYSELF
ijustwanamakeout (3:30:04 AM): well i dont know what to tell ya
ijustwanamakeout (3:30:07 AM): other than just let yourself
ijustwanamakeout (3:30:14 AM): there isn't a kwnoing how
ijustwanamakeout (3:30:18 AM): its a descision
ijustwanamakeout (3:30:20 AM): that you make
King Nixon (3:30:29 AM): in the end, thats all anyone really tells me. i tell myself that. i already know. but i cant do it. so thers nothing to do
ijustwanamakeout (3:31:11 AM): if thats your mindset then you are doomed to being silent dan forever
ijustwanamakeout (3:31:15 AM): and there is nothing that i may say
King Nixon (3:37:18 AM): i think im better now
King Nixon (3:37:21 AM): i blew my nose a lot
King Nixon (3:37:27 AM): it was runny
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:42 AM): haha
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:44 AM): alright
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:47 AM): wel i guess i'm gonna hit the hay
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:50 AM): have a good sleep
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:51 AM): feel better
ijustwanamakeout (3:37:58 AM): you are a good person whether you do not talk or not.
ijustwanamakeout (3:38:00 AM): later dude.
King Nixon (3:38:02 AM): thank you andy
King Nixon (3:38:03 AM): good night
ijustwanamakeout (3:38:08 AM): anytime pal.
ijustwanamakeout signed off at 3:38:11 AM.