okay i cant type now. anyway--- so this is pretty damn spurious right now. but on the flimsy chance that i'm right, i think i will be INTENSELY BITTER. god damn it. i swear she just appears every so often to ruin my life. wtf?? i wish it was intentional so i could say fuck off and forget about it. but no. we hang out. we have fun. it's good. and then she vanishes and is IMPOSSIBLE AND FUCKEHGFEIHGEHGKUEWGF and i dont understand. she only talks to me when she needs something. i dont know why she doesnt care. or maybe i do, maybe i got weird, i cant even tell. ohhh hateful life. oh. i'm sick of people just not caring; i know i have good friends, i should just suck it up. but god damn it no! i want her to like me the way i like her, or at least to like me at all. a friend. i think ive earned more than being a goddamn manservant.
ah drama. i shoot myself in the head
