Xmas: The Jewish Conspiracy!and that is that.
By Tracey R Rich
A lot of people say that it's OK for Jews to celebrate Christmas, because
it's not really a "Christian" holiday. It's everybody's holiday, it's a
secular holiday. I used to get really bent out of shape about that. But I
have recently come to realize that Christmas IS a Jewish holiday.
It's all part of the International Jewish Conspiracy, or IJC as those of us
"in the know" call it. We have taken the holiest day on the Christian
calendar, the day when their god was born, and successfully "X'd the Christ
out of Christmas," turning this formerly sacred holiday into an orgy of
consumerism. Those Christian lemmings buy decorations, lights, trees,
toys, jewelry, gadgets, presents galore.... and who do you think owns all
the retail businesses where they buy those presents, hmn? The Jews!
How did we pull off this clever ploy? How did we dupe the Christians into
celebrating Christ's birth by lining Jewish pockets? Simple! We control
the media! We created secular Christmas songs like White Christmas
(written by Irving Berlin, a Jew!), secular Christmas movies like White
Christmas (starring Danny Kaye, a Jew!), and secular Christmas TV specials
like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus is Coming to Town
(produced by Rankin-Bass, more Jews!).
You want additional proof: What pulls Santa's sleigh? 8 reindeer, plus a
ninth to light the others! [hint for the goyim: a Chanukkah menorah has 8
candles, plus a 9th to light the others]
So the next time someone tries to tell you that Christmas is your holiday
too, tell them they're right! But remember: Jews don't celebrate Christmas
by BUYING presents; Jews celebrate Christmas by SELLING presents!
every time someone said merry xmas to me, i answered happy kwanzaa. or happy ramadam. no one so much as responded with a weird glance; i was disapointed. and i can't find my santa hat! i was going to wear it tomorrow. i'm supposed to work 3-10 (oh yummy overtime + holiday pay). of course, we're also supposed to get 6-20 inches of snow tomorrow, so i may be calling out.
jerry, the kid i was workin with, bought me dinner for xmas. that was nice. a cheeseburger club from ollies. jerry has a strong lisp. i don't know why, but i find strong lisps to be kindof unsettling. i know it's shallow, but theyre weird dammit