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January 27th, 2003


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05:40 pm
Dan,

I hope I'm not way off base on this. If I am, please forgive me and excuse
my stupidity; I just want to help you.

I saw your journal recently, and it seems you're not feeling very good. You
know that getting drunk or high doesn't help, and therapists are mostly
useless. Unless you have an actual illness, the meds you mentioned possibly
taking are like taking Tylenol for a sprain -- reduces the pain for a while
but doesn't cure the problem, and you know what the problem is.

There are 12,000 people at UNH, half on campus, and half of them are women.
It defies logic and reality that there isn't one out of 3,000 who would be
good enough. When you're ready to get married, you want this person to be
just right for you. But in the meantime for now, she doesn't have to be
perfect, and you don't have to love each other. You just need to like each
other enough to want to help and comfort each other, and be physically
attracted enough to each other to want to go to bed. And they want to help
us and take care of us; it's part of a woman's nature. They're not as
resistant as you might think.

You have plenty of friends. Rely on them Dan, that's what friends are for.
Ask a friend who you especially trust to fix you up with somebody. I'm sure
your friends must know some girls who are lonely, and looking for somebody
who is smart and funny and good-hearted, somebody just like you.

And your mother's suggestion about Hillel may not be such a bad idea. You
may not want to sleep in a succoh*, but you might find somebody to sleep
with.

So, that's how to get rid of your pain. That's what women are for, they
take away our pain and save our lives.

Much love,
Dad

* jewish tent thing. it has about as much religious significance as a christmas tree
np: deftones - 7 words promo - Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Smiths Cover)

(44 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


From:candy_angel
Date:January 27th, 2003 02:50 pm (UTC)
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you have really cool parents
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 28th, 2003 05:14 pm (UTC)
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i know it
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From:amyawesome
Date:January 27th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
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he wants you to do me.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:08 pm (UTC)
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i want me to do you
From:ex_gleam379
Date:January 27th, 2003 03:25 pm (UTC)

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i think my favorite parts are:

But in the meantime for now, she doesn't have to be perfect, and you don't have to love each other. You just need to like each other enough to want to help and comfort each other, and be physically attracted enough to each other to want to go to bed.


and:
but you might find somebody to sleep with.




i think i just about died reading that thing in it's entirety and not just the piece you typed to me last night. i think your dad is my new sexual hero.



plus i think he wants you to bang me.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:15 pm (UTC)
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he would be thrilled if i banged you
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From:rain19
Date:January 27th, 2003 03:44 pm (UTC)
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*I* personally think your dad is fucked in the head. That email pissed me off.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:21 pm (UTC)
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why?
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From:zombeer
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:18 pm (UTC)
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i hope to someday sleep in a succoh....
with sexy results

or under a christmas tree....
with sexy results


p.s. girls may be nice to have around, but don't think you need one. it happens when it happens. no sooner, no later. in the meantime enjoy farting and burping and drinking beer in your underwear. all the god given rights to being a man that women take away from us.
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From:zombeer
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:24 pm (UTC)
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i hope to someday sleep in a succoh....
with sexy results

or under a christmas tree....
with sexy results



p.s. don't worry about finding a girl. the best things come when you least expect them to.
[User Picture]
From:zombeer
Date:January 27th, 2003 06:26 pm (UTC)
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hmmmmmm

your respond to this thingy pisses me off.
oh well, enjoy multiple copies of the same comments!!!
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From:feste
Date:January 28th, 2003 12:09 am (UTC)
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Lauri~ asks if he gave you a $50 for a hooker. You know, to show he *really* cares.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 28th, 2003 05:52 pm (UTC)
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he probably would if i asked for it. i'm not even kidding
From:zazmuzux
Date:January 28th, 2003 09:37 am (UTC)
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girls dont really matter, cuz it starts and then its gots to end, which never permanently gets you anywheres, they are like icing on the cake, "relationships are there to enrich your life, not something for your life to depend on" i read that somewhere, and it is the truth.

the less you analyze EVERYTHING (there are some things worth analyzing) and the more you just live your life the happier you shall be. we know this is what you do, you sit in your room and you think about every god damn little thing that happens to you over the course of your day and it shows cuz of how much crap you post to your live journal.

i think the best thing for you to do is get out more into real life, get more friends that are in the flesh, get more interests that are not internet, and just be more social. you'll be happier surrounded by people you can spend time with other than through a keyboard. the more time you spend checking live journal, the more time you spend doing whatever else you do, the more you are detached from everything that is going on around you in the immediate(sp?) area. i know you want to hangout and i know you want to have fun and do shit, but you sit on your f'n computer half the time. break the internet habit and make some more in the flesh friends and do more shit besides the nerd box and i bet you'll be a lot happier. get mroe sunlight and dont spend as much time in front of the monitor. its a fact that people are in worse moods and get angrier when they are in front of a tv/monitor, the radiation or something. seriously!

well thats my idea, take it as you will.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 28th, 2003 06:31 pm (UTC)
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that is all quite true. but don't think i analyze things any less when i'm out and about; my brain never shuts up

From:herong
Date:January 28th, 2003 11:00 am (UTC)

I would bang you if you slept in a succoh

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Hell, I would bang anyone who would sleep in a succoh. Purim is fucking hot. Oh, what would your dad say if someone was sad cause they had sex too much? would he tell them to have sex cause it solves everyone? Your dad should sleep in a succoh for the rest of his life, but then maybe not, cause I might want to bang him. remember, I MIGHT BE JEWISH!!!!

PS, I'm pretty sure that Purim is just a random jewish holiday that I picked out of thim air. oh well!!
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 29th, 2003 10:29 pm (UTC)

Re: I would bang you if you slept in a succoh

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okay i'm going out tonite and getting a succoh. CANT WAIT TIL YOURE BACK!
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From:bleedingmustard
Date:January 28th, 2003 01:36 pm (UTC)
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hahahaha...i am insanely glad you posted this. it makes me want to give you a hug.
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From:kingnixon
Date:January 28th, 2003 06:01 pm (UTC)
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i have no idea why you would have that response, but yay!
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From:johnbot
Date:January 28th, 2003 03:07 pm (UTC)
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hee, your dad really seems to want you to get laid. how often is he doing this?

maybe they invited me to stay while i was there in hopes that we'd do something. other than go to fruity grocery stores.

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From:kingnixon
Date:January 28th, 2003 06:02 pm (UTC)
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i dunno, every so often

haha. and how are you and your mom's son in law doing?
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From:johnbot
Date:January 28th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
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damnit, i got a pcnbd when posting, and i lost my reply! well nuts to that, you'll just have to dream of what i might have said.
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From:johnbot
Date:January 28th, 2003 03:14 pm (UTC)
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oh, apparently it did post. well damn, so much for fantasy.

can i have your dad's email address so that i can ask him how much he's getting laid?

(your mom's hot!)

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