January 30th, 2003
|09:17 am - and a few email exchanges later..|
Re: "what people dont like is you were pretty much saying that's ALL i need
happy, a nice girlfriend will solve all my problems and hooray for life.
that's shortsighted to think all my problems are external"
Yes, I agree, and that's not really the whole story. My note was just
specifically targeted on the idea that having a girlfriend will get rid of
the bad feelings that loneliness causes.
Okay, here's how it seems to me. We're these biological physical emotional
intellectual things (with the spark of divinity if you think that's true,
as I do). In order to feel right, we need to use what we have. If we
don't, we get frustrated and what we have atrophies. So we need a woman to
take care of our emotional need to love someone and to take care of our
sexual needs. We also need friends for our emotional needs. We need a job
which is satisfying, and which is not so difficult that it makes us feel
stressed, and not so easy that it bores us. The job should be the right
fit for our skills and interests, and challenge our intellect. It should
also address our emotional needs by allowing us to work with other people
if we like that, and work on our own if we like that. We also have to take
care of our body's energy needs with the right food and by exercising.
In my first note, I didn't mention anything about having friends because
you already do. I didn't mention jobs because you're in school now, and
long term job issues are not part of the present mix. I didn't mention
healthy food or exercise because I've noticed that you are not receptive to
that now. So my note focussed on the one thing that I thought would make
the most difference at this time.
That's why you and some of the commenters to your post thought the message
was single minded. The E-Mail WAS single-minded, but I'm NOT of the
opinion that a girlfriend is all you need. It's certainly one of the
things you need, and would make the biggest difference in your life now.
No, I don't mind that you posted my E-Mail. Yeah, I hadn't thought that
you would do that. But it didn't bother me. I just thought that you
wanted to know how other people feel about it. You can post this one, and
I kind of wish you would as it has a broader scope.
np: Oasis - Heathen Chemistry-(Advance) - 6 - Stop Crying Your Heart Out
did you tell your dad I thought he was cool? (Im focused on the important issues, huh? :o)
he read the comments, so presumably he saw that for himself
i heart your dad no matter what he says, he makes babies that are you. life is good.
that is the sweetest thing ever. youre better than everything
that is only cuz i love you.
and perhaps someday the girls will go to nh when i don't have work and we can hold hands and skip.
i think its 100% awesome that your father cares enough to analyze you like that and send you an email, and that you have a good enough relationship and open enough communication to talk about deeper things like that, i'd trade my pinky for that!
but knowing dan, and i have not known him my whole life like dad does, i really dont think its a girl that's gonna make him feel better, i still stand by that i think less interweb and more real life friends and a bit of a lifestyle change are gonna be what floats his boat, i think a girl would just come with all this once he was settled in and sure of himself. but thats my opinion i guess, and the only real person that can change anything or do anything or make any difference or help him is him. so till he gets off his ass and does DO something, emails and LJ comments are not going to do jack shit.
i'll respond to this later cuz i have to go to class, but i like the irony that about 10 minutes ago i went to visit you and all my knocks got was you turned your music down and up again. REAL LIFE IS THWARTED
|Date:||January 30th, 2003 03:43 pm (UTC)|| |
haha what? i didn't even hear ya knock!
hey i forgot i was gonna respond to this--
yeah, i do have a good relationship with my family. i think i take that for granted too much; it's hard to really appreciate what's literally been there your whole life
the thing about the lifestyle change- you know how i am with people. i go online because i can handle it. if i started spending every minute out with people i'd trade being lonely for being anxious and frustrated. i don't know if that's an improvement.
both your Mom and Dad are wonderful. I hope you like them as much as they deserve.
(also, does your Dad have any brothers who are available and just like him?)
yes they are; i hope i do too
(no, sorry. he's the last of the breed)
|Date:||January 31st, 2003 04:09 am (UTC)|| |
heh heh, your dad said "broad". what a perv.
see, we can turn anything he says into nastiness. but in all fairness, i'm still a fan of your dad. even if he never gave me condoms. your mom did try to make out with me though, so it's all good.
|Date:||January 31st, 2003 08:01 pm (UTC)|| |
the main idea from all of this is that you need to do what makes you happy. take some "woody" time to just figure out what's really important in life. who knows? you just might surprise yourself.