March 8th, 2003
|05:04 pm - it occurs to me|
the timing of tonight is actually pretty funny, in a sad way.
i dont know that anyone will know what i'm talking about, but i'm posting it anyway. because i'm an ass.
state: and if YOU do know what i mean, then i'm sorry. but this is where things are
np: Limp Bizkit - - - Counterfeit
yeah i think i have a pretty good idea.
im sorry. i dont really see a reason not to now tho
whatever. do what you want. if you don't care, why should i?
you tell me. i still care about you
obviously not enough so that you wouldn't make that post.
i have an appreciation of irony, even when it's depressing
Private convo, Dan? Hehe. Just wanted be an ASS FUCK. I love you.
yes it is, and you're snooping in my private publicly posted thoughts!!! or something
i love you too. how are you doin? did eric get his 5678 new jobs?
it was the blows for you to post that. obviously you can do whatever you want, seeing as it's your journal. but i'm just saying......
it was really inconsiderate and obviously directed right at me.
total. thumbs. down. to. hell.
it was not directed at you at all, actually. it was a thought i had and felt like posting. i didnt even know if you knew about the party or not. the 'because i'm an ass' was referrign to me posting something no one would understand
and i did mean the im sorry in the mood, that wasnt snide
by "directed at me" i mean the YOU in the mood. which was, if i'm right which i think i am, was me.
you realize that "i'm sorry" means absolutely nothing to me and is actually a slap in the face to me. whether you meant it that way or not (i know you said it was an honest "i'm sorry) how can you not raelize that that is just so insulting to me for you to apologize for it? what the fuck is going on in your head that you wouldn't know i'd take that as a total slap in the face and a total insult.
i mean, life your life, do whatever you want, you're under no obligation to me....but don't APOLOGIZE for it because that's just bullshit. ugh.
the you in the mood was you, yes. you know, the more i think about it, i dont even know what i was apologizing for. i said im sorry cuz i knew you'd be bothered by me drinking, but youve said plenty of times it only really bothers you with someone you're going out with, whcih we are not. all the same, i thought i'd be nice. apparently that's not allowed
i mean you can write whatever you want and do whatever you want. seriously, i'm not trying to be bitchy when i say that.
having said that, there really was no need to post that entry. seriously, no need. or, if you wanted to post it because that is obviously your right to do so....there was even LESS need to direct the stuff in the mood right at me. i'm sorry that it bothers me, i don't really know why. but it really bothered me and i stressed out all night about the fact that you were drinking. you can do whatever you want, and you're under no obligation not to drink because yes, we arent going out. but honestly, i don't need to know about it. all it did was stress me out and upset me. and i mean i was really upset.
apologizing cause you knew i'd be upset meant absolutely nothing because it's not like you weren't going to do it anyway and so apologizing beforehand was just a slap in the face and made me realize even more that that's what you were doing.
i understand where you're coming from with that, and that you thought you were just being nice. but i really don't think you understand just why that upset me so much.