to be clear, i'm not suicidal (consciously?). it seems weird that both dreams started right after i had failed at it; i dunno what that means. if anything.
i also had a dream last night (this may have been one of the other two, i can't really remember) where i was killing people and stealing their souls with these little magic cigarette lighter things. and i felt really really guilty about it. so i killed two bad people who were doing it with me and ran off. i was lost in my aunt's house somewhere (which is quite big, but not as much as in the dream). oh, and i was doing the killing/stealing FOR my family; only not my real family, it was like the addams family only way evil-er.