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June 14th, 2004

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02:44 pm - legal eagle
ironically, today i was supposed to take the LSATs, but i had to reschedule because...

i was in court today! i am fighting a bullshit traffic ticket. i've mentioned it here before, but this happened back in freaking january so i will catch you all up.
okay so it was on durham rd, like midnight. i was going 48 in a 35. no traffic to speak of, weather was clear, all that good stuff. the cop a) wrote on the ticket that the speed limit was 30 b) after he gave me the ticket and let me go, he had to pull me over again cuz he forgot to keep his copy c) then he started walking off with both copies and i had to yell for him to bring mine back d) i looked up the actual law, and technically it is not illegal to speed unless you're going over 65. otherwise the actual law (nh statute 265:60) says you can't drive unsafely, and being over the speed limit can be considered prima facie evidence that you are being unsafe (basically, means it is proven unless you have evidence to the contrary)
my 'evidence' being that i have gotten speeding tickets before but i have never been at fault for anything, i feel i am a safe driver who happens to feel comfortable going fast. also it turned out when i was questioning him[1] that the cop was actually in training at the time and my ticket was only the 4th he'd ever given out, so i said i didnt know how much weight his judgment of the safety of my driving could hold, if he was still in training and seemingly distracted that night. and when i was asking him about how he had to pull me over again and if he was distracted that night or what was up, he started getting all fidgety and embarassed.
the judge said "you will be mailed the court's findings" which seems odd, as everyone else in court that day (i was dead last. woo) got immediate judgment. apparently my argument is a real legal defense, as when i finished he said something like "so you are making a reasonable speed defense?" and it sounded like this was a valid concept. nonetheless, i assume i'll lose, cuz why should they take the side of some dumb kid over a cop? but i think i did well all the same
i didn't get to use all my researched info on prima facie evidence though. i found cases that basically said it couldn't be used the way they use it. haha if i lose maybe i'll appeal

[1] haha i felt like a big fancy lawyer, questioning witnesses. it was fun

i honestly really love water. water is awesome. but i tend to drink a lot of it at once and then by melly (hahaha my belly. that typo is too good to fix. oh spoonerisms) is like wtf i am sloshy and full of water now, stop that! but i want to drink more. cuz i like water.

dan's new favorite screenname ever: omgwtfbbqliekwoa. lauri wins.

two amazing things that were said to me the other day. by different people no less. "i think i should start doing virgins." "i need to start banging more of our friends."
state: accomplishedaccomplished
np: Franz Ferdinand - Darts Of Pleasure - 03 - Shopping For Blood

(10 shots upside the head | en garde!)


[User Picture]
Date:June 14th, 2004 12:52 pm (UTC)
awm-gwit-fub-qui-leek-whoa. i like it. i need to learn how to say that very quicklike.

sometime in junior high, i (and another kid in my class) were selected for some reason to take part in a little several week law course type thing the U of M was holding. At the end, we got to do a mock trial in a real courtroom (much better than Judge Judy's), and I got to be the Crown (um, the lawyer for the criminal-prosecuting people, and stuff).

At one point during the cross-examination of a suspected terrorist, the defendent for some reason said he wanted to go to Disneyland. So I suddenly asked him, all shocked, if he was planning to blow up Disneyland as well in a dramatic made-for-tv voice. It was so absurd and stupid that everyone laughed, and he was convicted in the end. Not that I recall providing any real concrete truth during the trial, but I'm sure I must have, because the system never fucks up.

Maybe that's what they were teaching us.
[User Picture]
Date:June 17th, 2004 02:10 pm (UTC)
hahah nice. are you planning to see saved!? there's a similar bit in that - two actually - and they are fucking perfect
[User Picture]
Date:June 14th, 2004 04:36 pm (UTC)
by me!!!!!
[User Picture]
Date:June 17th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
most cool things are done by you
[User Picture]
Date:June 14th, 2004 04:39 pm (UTC)
water is good i know i drink about a gallon or more a day at work.

cops suck sometimes man.
[User Picture]
Date:June 17th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
i don't knwo quite how much a gallon is, but yeah, water rules

yes, yes they do. fuck tha police! haha
[User Picture]
Date:December 22nd, 2004 12:54 am (UTC)
"i need to start banging more of our friends."

hahahahahahahaaa! who said that!? that's one of the best lines I've heard in a long time

(and since it was said so long ago, did this person carry out this idea?)
[User Picture]
Date:January 9th, 2005 04:46 am (UTC)
secret identities must not be divulged. but no, sadly, he did not. that i'm aware of

though if he did, i would just be jealous, so i guess that's better for me
[User Picture]
Date:January 9th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
Well you're one of his friends, so I'd assume you'd be one of the first to know if he carried out his plan ;)

Another memorable quote:
My sister was at a big party with some guy she didn't like too much hitting on her. He was drunk and getting carried away; finally just as one of those occasional lulls came over the crowd he blurted, "God I'd love to fuck your brains out!"

Of course all heads swiveled to see who said that (and who was so lucky to receive it) but the place was so crowded they only saw Asshole and not my sister. To this day only me, my sister and Asshole know the *whole* story. :)
[User Picture]
Date:January 10th, 2005 11:12 pm (UTC)
he didnt say ALL our friends. i think he will be mostly sticking to the ladies

hahah i'll be sure to say that next time my flirting is getting me nowhere

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