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September 19th, 2004


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02:59 am - shaggy dog jokes
my mom has this book, it's a big compendium of jokes and the like. she's had it for awhile; i remember spotting it and flipping through on a previous visit. it says on the cover something to the effect of "over 6000 shaggy dog jokes, limericks, insults" etc etc. this book has an index and everything, it's very nicely thorough, and my mom is an avid joker.
she wanted to find some shaggy dog jokes, so she looked them up in the index. didn't see any. she flipped through the book. didn't see any. for all i know, she read the whole thing front to back (i hope not - after awhile, reading a long list of short jokes gets to be like reading a dictionary). now, i have to admit that, when i had looked at it, i had checked the index and flipped through also, looking for shaggy dog jokes, because i love them[1]. i couldn't find any either, and i didn't realize until she was telling me today about how she went through the whole book and didn't find a single one that the whole book WAS the shaggy dog joke, and we both got zinged. i started laughing, and couldn't stop for maybe five minutes, while my mom is just getting more confused.
you see, she had no idea what shaggy dog jokes are. she thought they would all be about shaggy dogs.

[1] a lot of my favorite jokes can be described as such: someone tells it to you, and you are either annoyed at the stupidity adn waste of your time, or horrified at its tastelessness, and you think the person who told you is a big jerky slimeball for subjecting you to it. then a few hours later you go out and tell it to all of your friends. wash, rinse, repeat.
state: ask me sometime about the guy who wanted to be a monk
np: reverend glasseye and his wooden legs - our lady of the broken spine - 03 - god help you, dumb boy

(20 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


From:sillypoot
Date:September 19th, 2004 04:20 pm (UTC)
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current mood: ask me sometime about the guy who wanted to be a monk

OMG I FUCKING HATE THAT JOKE

but i've told it to like 5 people and they all hated it, too. So I guess it doesn't suck that much.
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From:kingnixon
Date:September 27th, 2004 09:12 pm (UTC)
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no, it doesn't suck, it is awesome. and that is why. you tell it to people and they hate it. then they tell it to other people and they hate it too. and it spreads forever. it's like a shitty joke virus
From:sillypoot
Date:September 28th, 2004 08:04 am (UTC)
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omg I infected aaron with a shaggy dog transmitted disease
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From:kingnixon
Date:October 1st, 2004 12:50 pm (UTC)

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bwahahaha
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From:crawl27
Date:September 20th, 2004 09:32 am (UTC)

my favourite joke

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how do you make a sausage roll?




















you push it.




however thats probably not that funny for you because i'm told you americans don't have sausage rolls which well you're totally missing out.
From:sillypoot
Date:September 21st, 2004 11:54 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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HAHAHAHAHAHA

see now that's a good joke.

it's like my favorite
what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work


















a stick
HILARITY ENSUES
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From:crawl27
Date:September 22nd, 2004 06:22 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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oh i love that one too!

heres another favourite from my childhood.....


what are hundreds and thousands?





















smarty poos!
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From:kingnixon
Date:September 27th, 2004 09:22 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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i dont get it
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From:crawl27
Date:September 28th, 2004 05:10 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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hundreds and thousands are little balls that you put on your icecream or on top of cakes and they're all different colours, they're pretty much coloured sugar, they're cool. perhaps you americans call them sprinkles?

do you know what smarties are?

they're like m&m's but they have s's on them instead of m's and they're made my nestle and not mars. and they're not as nice.
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From:kingnixon
Date:October 1st, 2004 12:49 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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yeah, sprinkles. except they're usually tiny little dashes, not balls (but sometimes ya see those too)

smarties here are nothing like m&m's. i don't even know what to compare them to, but they're rad. maybe the tart part of sweet-tarts, but better
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From:crawl27
Date:October 2nd, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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those are fruit tingles!

not smarties.
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From:kingnixon
Date:October 11th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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they are definitely smarties. i ate some the other day.

fruit tingles is an awesome name though. sounds kinky and delicious
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From:crawl27
Date:October 12th, 2004 06:29 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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they're great. they're not exactly the same as your smarties but i think they're similar.

our smarties are better.
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From:kingnixon
Date:September 27th, 2004 09:22 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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i just thought up a new punchline. yours is better, but hey.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

doesn't matter, it's still not coming back
From:sillypoot
Date:September 28th, 2004 08:05 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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HAHAHAHAHAHA WIN
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From:kingnixon
Date:September 27th, 2004 09:20 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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hahaha i like it!
we have a few things which could be called sausage rolls. whether or not theyre the same things you mean by sausage roll, i do not know
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From:crawl27
Date:September 28th, 2004 05:07 am (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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well a sausage roll is like sausage meat and vegies and well lots mystery ingredients really, all mushed together and then wrapped in pastry and baked. way yummy. i like to call them rats coffins.

whats your sausage roll?
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From:kingnixon
Date:October 1st, 2004 12:45 pm (UTC)

Re: my favourite joke

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that sounds delicious

i think our sausage roll would be a polish sausage, which is just a great big wonderfully unhealthy sausage in a hot dog bun. toss on some fried peppers and onions and it's an italian sausage (apparently poland has not yet discovered vegetables). and there's pigs-in-a-blanket, which is like a baby corndog minus the corn
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From:propheticdream
Date:September 22nd, 2004 08:27 pm (UTC)
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This is random, but thats pretty funny. I've heard some reaaaally bad jokes, but then I've laughed my ass off at them, and told them to my friends too
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From:kingnixon
Date:September 27th, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC)

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haha yep, that's how it works

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