Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk

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c'mon, that's the way to do it... money[1] for nothing, chicks for free..

"once upon a time, i went on a murder spree" such a charming song.

so anyway, 1st day of work as a telemarketer for the union leader[2]. and after one day of working there, i will just say - no, i won't say. i already did, after all......

[01:16:02 AM] ReallySillyPants: And how was your day at work?
[01:16:06 AM] king nixon: WORST THIGN EVER
[01:16:12 AM] ReallySillyPants: Oh my...
[01:16:14 AM] ReallySillyPants: Howso?
[01:16:43 AM] ReallySillyPants: Are we not going back anytime soon?
[01:17:01 AM] king nixon: arright, well i misinterpreted (or they misexplained, i dunno) how the pay structure works a teense
[01:17:11 AM] ReallySillyPants: ahh...
[01:17:15 AM] ReallySillyPants: hows that?
[01:17:22 AM] king nixon: no, i'm going back til i get something better. i want money. i think i may go back to abacus, despite swearing i never would. we'll see
[01:17:37 AM] king nixon: well, i thoguht it was a base pay of 6/hr plus any commisions you get
[01:17:49 AM] king nixon: turns out it's the 6/hr OR commisions, whichever is higher
[01:18:01 AM] king nixon: each commision for hte paper we're doin is 6.25
[01:18:22 AM] king nixon: i worked 5 hrs, and got 4. so i was below the base pay, and i get just the 6/hr
[01:19:29 AM] ReallySillyPants: Ahh..
[01:19:30 AM] king nixon: and - believe it or not, i know this is shocking - turns out people don't like being called during dinner and told to buy newpaper subscriptions
[01:19:31 AM] ReallySillyPants: Nice...
[01:20:26 AM] ReallySillyPants: Wow, really? I can't believe it...
[01:20:43 AM] king nixon: i know, i'm still in shock about it
[01:20:49 AM] ReallySillyPants: I bet!
[01:21:19 AM] king nixon: luckily, everyone i called was too nice to actually yell at me. i think it's hte funniest thing when people say thanks for calling and slam the phone down in anger
[01:21:29 AM] king nixon: cept for the whole not getting paid thing. that makes it less funny
[01:21:45 AM] king nixon: no wait, 3 ppl yelled
[01:22:05 AM] ReallySillyPants: Hmm. Its a hard job
[01:23:05 AM] king nixon: not very effectively tho. here's one guy's threat: so you have my number, huh? well i tell you what you can do with that number. you can take that number and you can LOSE IT.
[01:23:06 AM] ReallySillyPants: Well, I'm sorry your day sucked
[01:23:07 AM] king nixon: i was not impressed
[01:24:10 AM] ReallySillyPants: Lose it, eh? LOL
[01:24:16 AM] king nixon: yep
[01:24:23 AM] king nixon: i marked him for a callback =)
[01:24:31 AM] king nixon: ah, spite
[01:24:40 AM] ReallySillyPants: You can have laughs from this kind of job at times...
[01:24:59 AM] ReallySillyPants: Get any good answering machines?Hee
[01:26:23 AM] king nixon: nah, they were all dumb
[01:26:41 AM] ReallySillyPants: Hmm
[01:26:44 AM] king nixon: i got a lady who talked like shatner
[01:27:03 AM] king nixon: i' goodbye [click]

o, i forgot to mention... the 'instructional video' i had to watch when i 1st showed up was so stereotypically the shitty useless badly-done employer video i cracked up. for a few minutes until it became clear this video had no intention of ending quickly, then i was frightened. a half hour later, it released me from its fiendish grasp, and i got to go read the scripts we get for calling people. they are stereotypical telemarketer scripts. the place has crappy motivational posters above the cubicles. why do i work for a stereotype? o well, at least the assistant manager is hot.

the mood of this entry is no longer true. it was hours ago when i started this entry and forgot to finish it til now, but not no more. the correct mood for the now of this entry being nearly finished is: yawning.
i don't take the concept of "mood" too literally.

why in the name of my fractured sanity am i still up?? i'll tell you why: i'm an idiot. to make a short story long, i had to get all caught up on my friendpage. bah! you see how much i love you all? i'm losing sleep to read your wacky exploits!
and the worst part is i'm wicked hungry now, cuz i've been up forever. sleeping on an empty stomach sucks. being supersleepy sucks more, however, so food shall have to wait til morning to march down my throat. so it it written, so it shall be done. word to your mother.

[1] typos rule. i originally wrote that "monkey for nothing". haha, i want a free monkey!
[2] or, to be uselessly accurate - for telereach, a company employed by the union leader, because they're too lazy to do their own telemarketing.

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