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July 17th, 2001

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05:05 am - c'mon, that's the way to do it... money[1] for nothing, chicks for free..
"once upon a time, i went on a murder spree" such a charming song.

so anyway, 1st day of work as a telemarketer for the union leader[2]. and after one day of working there, i will just say - no, i won't say. i already did, after all......

[01:16:02 AM] ReallySillyPants: And how was your day at work?
[01:16:06 AM] king nixon: WORST THIGN EVER
[01:16:12 AM] ReallySillyPants: Oh my...
[01:16:14 AM] ReallySillyPants: Howso?
[01:16:43 AM] ReallySillyPants: Are we not going back anytime soon?
[01:17:01 AM] king nixon: arright, well i misinterpreted (or they misexplained, i dunno) how the pay structure works a teense
[01:17:11 AM] ReallySillyPants: ahh...
[01:17:15 AM] ReallySillyPants: hows that?
[01:17:22 AM] king nixon: no, i'm going back til i get something better. i want money. i think i may go back to abacus, despite swearing i never would. we'll see
[01:17:37 AM] king nixon: well, i thoguht it was a base pay of 6/hr plus any commisions you get
[01:17:49 AM] king nixon: turns out it's the 6/hr OR commisions, whichever is higher
[01:18:01 AM] king nixon: each commision for hte paper we're doin is 6.25
[01:18:22 AM] king nixon: i worked 5 hrs, and got 4. so i was below the base pay, and i get just the 6/hr
[01:19:29 AM] ReallySillyPants: Ahh..
[01:19:30 AM] king nixon: and - believe it or not, i know this is shocking - turns out people don't like being called during dinner and told to buy newpaper subscriptions
[01:19:31 AM] ReallySillyPants: Nice...
[01:20:26 AM] ReallySillyPants: Wow, really? I can't believe it...
[01:20:43 AM] king nixon: i know, i'm still in shock about it
[01:20:49 AM] ReallySillyPants: I bet!
[01:21:19 AM] king nixon: luckily, everyone i called was too nice to actually yell at me. i think it's hte funniest thing when people say thanks for calling and slam the phone down in anger
[01:21:29 AM] king nixon: cept for the whole not getting paid thing. that makes it less funny
[01:21:45 AM] king nixon: no wait, 3 ppl yelled
[01:22:05 AM] ReallySillyPants: Hmm. Its a hard job
[01:23:05 AM] king nixon: not very effectively tho. here's one guy's threat: so you have my number, huh? well i tell you what you can do with that number. you can take that number and you can LOSE IT.
[01:23:06 AM] ReallySillyPants: Well, I'm sorry your day sucked
[01:23:07 AM] king nixon: i was not impressed
[01:24:10 AM] ReallySillyPants: Lose it, eh? LOL
[01:24:16 AM] king nixon: yep
[01:24:23 AM] king nixon: i marked him for a callback =)
[01:24:31 AM] king nixon: ah, spite
[01:24:40 AM] ReallySillyPants: You can have laughs from this kind of job at times...
[01:24:59 AM] ReallySillyPants: Get any good answering machines?Hee
[01:26:23 AM] king nixon: nah, they were all dumb
[01:26:41 AM] ReallySillyPants: Hmm
[01:26:44 AM] king nixon: i got a lady who talked like shatner
[01:27:03 AM] king nixon: i'm.....not.......in....terested...thank......you goodbye [click]

o, i forgot to mention... the 'instructional video' i had to watch when i 1st showed up was so stereotypically the shitty useless badly-done employer video i cracked up. for a few minutes until it became clear this video had no intention of ending quickly, then i was frightened. a half hour later, it released me from its fiendish grasp, and i got to go read the scripts we get for calling people. they are stereotypical telemarketer scripts. the place has crappy motivational posters above the cubicles. why do i work for a stereotype? o well, at least the assistant manager is hot.

the mood of this entry is no longer true. it was hours ago when i started this entry and forgot to finish it til now, but not no more. the correct mood for the now of this entry being nearly finished is: yawning.
i don't take the concept of "mood" too literally.

why in the name of my fractured sanity am i still up?? i'll tell you why: i'm an idiot. to make a short story long, i had to get all caught up on my friendpage. bah! you see how much i love you all? i'm losing sleep to read your wacky exploits!
and the worst part is i'm wicked hungry now, cuz i've been up forever. sleeping on an empty stomach sucks. being supersleepy sucks more, however, so food shall have to wait til morning to march down my throat. so it it written, so it shall be done. word to your mother.

[1] typos rule. i originally wrote that "monkey for nothing". haha, i want a free monkey!
[2] or, to be uselessly accurate - for telereach, a company employed by the union leader, because they're too lazy to do their own telemarketing.
state: uncomfortably full
np: Wesley Willis - I Murdered Your Family

(7 shots upside the head | en garde!)


Date:July 17th, 2001 07:16 am (UTC)
hey at least you didn't have to call my house. my parents answering machine sasy "Telemarketers take us off your list. for friends...[blahblah phone number blah]"
[User Picture]
Date:July 17th, 2001 03:32 pm (UTC)
haha, you might wanna mention to your parents that won't work. most places require that the person wanting off the list has to 'verify' information, whcih basically means hassle them slightly so answering machines and people yelling and hanging up don't go off the list.
Date:July 17th, 2001 03:45 pm (UTC)


yeah well, see, we don't answer the call unless we know the caller. friends out of the calling area know to leave a message. so it doesn't really matter.
[User Picture]
Date:July 17th, 2001 02:32 pm (UTC)
For a couple weeks once, I had a job going door-to-door for an environmental organization.
Soliciting funds, of course. You'd think that would be even worse than telemarketing, but it
seemed that people were less willing to be rude to you when they're face-to-face. With an
occasional exception, of course... my first day begging solo, I was teamed up with a girl
named Sarah, and we were basically leapfrogging each other house by house. Towards
the end of the night, she made a switch and sent me on to the next block, so she could
finish up the block we were already on. The very next house she went to... which would have
been mine... belonged to somebody from a rival community organization, who absolutely
hated the one we were working for, and who wouldn't let her leave for 20 minutes, until he
was done yelling at her.

Then, there was another guy in our group, who went up to a house and rang the bell, then
stepped back to let the occupant open the door... at which point, he discovered that the
porch he was standing on had no railing... and he fell backwards, arms windmilling... and
when the mark helped him back onto the porch, laughing, he discovered that he had left
a perfect imprint of a person, arms and legs outstreched, holding a clipboard in one hand,
in the snow.

...anyway... the problem with this door-to-door solicitation: we had statistics (it was right
there in our information packet; we showed it to anyone who asked) that proved that less
than 10% of the money we collected was spent on overhead (e.g., paying the people who
worked there, such as myself); this was important, because when people give money to
a group fighting, say, industrial pollution, they like to know that their money is being spent
to combat industrial pollution. But that included money sources like corporate donations,
which they didn't have to spend any money sending people out to collect. Put it this way; I
collected a little over 600 dollars in 2 weeks. I was paid about 500 dollars; meaning that
close to 85 percent of the money I solicited from people was actually for me. That
percentage is higher than normal, because I wasn't very good at it; but if a door-to-door
solicitor in that organization was so good that he could collect more money than was
provided for even in the highest pay scale, they would get paid a commission of 40% of
the excess. Which never happened; basically, any money that this organization collected
door-to-door... over 60% of it went to pay the people who collected it.

Joel T.
[User Picture]
Date:July 17th, 2001 05:17 pm (UTC)
I have done both of these jobs - door to door and telemarketing. I lasted three whole days at the telemarketing, which impressed the hell out of me because one could *smell* the evil about me when I came home from there. I lasted most of a month door to door, and I was actually pretty good at it (selling discount cards for restaurants). I enjoyed meeting people, and you are right, Joel, they are less inclined to be rude to people they can see in front of them.

Be that as it may, I don't think I would go back to either job. I would rather flip burgers, I think, sales just really isn't my bag, baby.
[User Picture]
Date:July 19th, 2001 11:14 am (UTC)
i dunno, people don't seem to have any problem frightening me when i'm going door-to-door for stuff~
a few years back, i'm going up and down my street selling tickets for 'the magical evening of giving' a fundraiser they do every year. so anywayz, at my neighbors' house, i walk up to the door and knock. no answer. now, i can see thru the lil window on the door that the old guy living there was sitting approx 5 feet from the door, watching tv. either he didn't hear me or he was ignoring me. i knock again (no doorbell). i can also see his -presumably- wife off to the side, chopping veggies with a big knife. so she walks over to the door and opens it a crack. just enough for the knife, which she's still carrying, to be visible to me. "hi, i'm doing a fundraiser for central high school and-" "we're not interested!" and she slams the door shut and walks back to her veggies.
[User Picture]
Date:July 20th, 2001 09:39 pm (UTC)


see... you need to get your high school a band that kicks butt. i had to sell those things too... but... because the band plays every year at the event (omigosh, the accoustics in the place are INCREDIBLE... firebird sent me into chills and made lil children in the front row cry from the quadrouple fortissimo(really a musical term i swear!!!) at the very end with all the cool chords and the semi tone runs with the clars and saxes (though they're strings in the orchestrated arr) and the percussion crashing and banging wildly whenever the band pauses so it's just this continuous wall of sound that echoes back as a wall of sound just as large... oh the rush!!!!) ::ahem...:: anyway... since we play every year, i'd wear a tee shirt that i wrote "i play in salem high school blue devil marching band" and people joggin' on the street and stuff would stop and ask to buy the tickets. it was great... i shoulda set up a booth. so yeah... just make central's band rock and go to rose bowl and neighbor people won't kill you.

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