i've always taken the safe/easy route. that's how i ended up, a year after graduating college with a LA degree, living 10 minutes from campus and an hour from where i was born. i had nothing particular to reach for or go after, so i stayed put. easy peazy. i don't really have any goals right now, which is troubling, because this is when i'm supposed to be pursuing them, near as i can tell. what do i want?
i don't want a job. not in the "i haven't found anything i really really want to do yet" sense, or even in the "i want money for nothing because i'm lazy" sense, although both of those are also true. i just don't want a job. jobs are stupid. i don't need a lot of money, really. i spend when i have, because i am not capable of saving, but i do fine when i don't have. i eat a lot of lentils and pasta, a lot of pb+j, i'm fine. i don't need a house. i probably will when i have 3.17 kids, but in the meantime i have no use for space. i'm not sure i even need an apartment. i have so much stuff, and i like my stuff, but i could toss most of it and not notice. i don't read 90% of my books, i don't listen to 90% of my cds, i don't watch 90% of my movies. i could throw what i want to keep in my car, bring the rest to goodwill, and just go. go somewhere. and i really really want to.
so what do i want? fulfillment. satisfaction. happiness. contentment. mega ecstacy bliss.