anyway though, so my back hurts and i can't sleep and my room is sickeningly hot and i am eating my 3rd Sunkist Apple Fruit And Grain Bar of the day and whine whine whine my life is tough.
it is currently 4:33am. i will perhaps not be going to work tomorrow. which is today. which is in 3 1/2 hours. oh well. and this was supposedly the day when they'd let us know who was being banished to washington center again, because all decisions in this company are apparently made by fortune cookie.
 obviously my problem is too much Real Fruit Filling (ie, sugary paste). i don't even like these things, but they're so addictive. i remember once in junior high, when i went through a box of blueberry breakfast bars in a day. mmm!
apropos of nothing - including reality - i have decided that my moving to washington is going to be just like in love actually when the dude moves to wisconsin and magically bones everyone in the state within 20 minutes of his arrival. that is just what's going to happen, there's no way around it. WEST COAST, BRACE YOURSELF AND YOUR HEADBOARDS FOR ALLNIGHT DAN MAGIC.
how much does inclination proclude free will? i think it's safe to say that programmed robots would not have free will, and brain-controlled people would not have free will. they are not choosing their motivations, even if they do get to pick the specific actions that get from A to B (aka, "kill the president"style mind-control would take free will, even though the hypothetical assassin still chooses their own method and timing of the attack. unless the controller was standing next to them giving a countdown of when to pull the trigger, they have to have some autonomy to accomplish the task. what makes them controlled, i think, is that they were forcefed an outside motivation). so, what of "bad seeds", people who just seem to be naturally born evil? even if they get to choose their own actions, are they choosing freely if the pull is something they sprung forth with? does it make a difference if it's someone who struggles mightily against their compulsions, versus someone who calmly and coldly sees no reason to struggle and nothing wrong with whatever terrible things they do?
and, as i often do, i've just out-argued myself. it would be impossible for personality to be entirely selfchosen, because then who would it be initially choosing? some core aspects of self have to either be ingrown or absorbed from outside influences before you have any means of consideration. so, either i say we don't have free will - which i am not willing to do - or i admit that my tying it to your own vs someone else's motivation is not as good a fit as i'd thought.
 or do i?!? to be continued when i process some new thoughts