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September 18th, 2005

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07:38 pm
as of last night, i am a newspaper delivery boy! i will be delivering the bellingham herald to, as the trainer lady put it, "snow birds". this either means people who don't like winter, people who DO like winter, or old people. i'm not sure. i hope it's just like paperboy, i can't wait to hit the grim reaper with my bike. i'm gonna knock that bony fucker down
i am still working at value village (for now), but who knows how long i will put up with either job. though as i see it, paperboy has the potential to be either amazing or awful (or, ya know, some of each, but that's no fun to predict).

bad things about being paperboy: boring as shit, must work 7 nights a week unless i coerce lauri into covering a shift, will probably papercut my fingers off, buying lots of gas, no hilarious customer-interaction stories
good things about being paperboy: only an hour-or-so's work per nigh,. deliveries may be made anytime between 2:30-6am aka perfect time for my nightowl ass, , feeling like a drug dealer when i pick up my shipment of papers that have been craftily dumped out in the open next to a pump at a gas station for no discernable reason, getting paid to drive on the wrong side of the road blasting cds

yep, wrong side of the road. we spent most of the route (as it was my 1st night, i just sat there and watched her deliver, mostly) on the wrong side of the road with highbeams and hazards on, chugging from mailbox to mailbox.

i suppose i could give some background. lauri saw some ads in the paper to deliver, um, itself. since she hates the shit out of value village, she called them up and said gimme, and they gave her a route. we were talking about it and basically came up with the idea that we would each get a route, and would switch off every week or whatever, where one of us covers both routes and the other stays home to roll nude on piles of money in the livingroom. i fully supported this plan, and henceforth set about planning to call and never getting around to it. then i went to their website to find hte number, and found a little form to fill out to apply, so did that instead.
meanwhile, lauri makes it through all of 1 night of training and decides it will make her die. not that it's so terrible, but that it's so in the middle of the night and she is overextended already what with otherjob and school and military boyfriend and signing us up to house katrina refugees without telling me (i only wish i had come home one day to find a tent city sprung up next to the tv. but we haven't gotten anyone yet, and i doubt we will, all things considered), so last night when her alarm went off at 2am, she stumbled into my room adn asked if i wanted to go in her place.

and i did!
np: Bob Mould - Body of Song - 03 - Paralyzed

(8 shots upside the head | en garde!)


Date:September 19th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
good luck! I hope it is like paperboy and you can set a pig on a roast running into the night!
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Date:September 20th, 2005 08:05 am (UTC)
screw that, if there are any roast pigs on my route, i am stopping for a snack
[User Picture]
Date:September 19th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC)
haha. paperboy.
[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2005 08:20 am (UTC)
maybe next i'll get a job being tetris
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Date:September 20th, 2005 08:22 am (UTC)
ps, there was this cute little purple tshirt at work, with mr rogers on it, and it said "i am unique and special" or something like that. i was gonna get it for you, but we are only allowed to buy things during our lunch breaks for some reason, and somebody had already gotten it when i got on lunch. bastards
[User Picture]
Date:September 19th, 2005 01:57 pm (UTC)
lol. i love your commentary on real life. i need to be funnier so i can laugh more at myself.

you should tell everyone that i still intend to get a route, just one that can fund my expensive lifestyle without teh village.
[User Picture]
Date:September 19th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
I think you just told everyone.

Is your new boss okay with you giving the job to someone else? Or have they empowered you as a hiring officer of Paper Route Inc Ltd?
[User Picture]
Date:September 20th, 2005 06:43 am (UTC)
Well, I explained that I wasn't sure I could do both the route and Value Village, told her I could do the route for another couple of days until they found someone else, but that my roommate very badly wanted it.

I am now in the process of applying to several other jobs and trying to snag the big huge route that could support me without difficulty. Updates soon!

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