Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk
kingnixon

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dan watches crap, an ongoing saga: the haunting

warning: SPOILERS. but the movie blows, so you shouldn't care.

okay, so granted the haunting suuuuuuuucked (the new one, i haven't seen the original or read the book, though i shall), but a couple interesting points to it. how many big budget hollywood flicks have the romance subplot be the beautiful woman falling for the kinda oddlooking woman? that i did not expect. meanwhile, owen wilson just pouts in the background cuz he doesn't get to kiss catherine zeta-jones. speaking of which, goddamn do i dislike owen wilson. something about him just ticks me off.
also, i'm impressed (i suppose) that in this thirteen ghosts/house on haunted hill era of horror movies consisting of nothing but people getting splashily killed by CGI, this movie had zero gore, and a whopping two deaths. one was dramatically reasonable, adn the other was owen wilson 100% pointlessly and randomly getting his head bopped off by a giant stone lion. it was like the end of speed, only in a fireplace, and way more hilarious. mostly because i don't like owen wilson, but it really was a bit of a 'meet joe black' moment[1].
and seriously? most uninteresting vanquishing EVER. there's the big showdown between the heroine and the evil ghost. she yells "you go to hell!" and then... he does. the end. what?!? that's all it fucking took??? they coulda saved me two hours and just yelled that on the way in. bam, end of movie.

[1] if you haven't seen this, near the beginning of 'meet joe black', brad pitt meets his temporary death in the most beautifully ridiculous scene since 'deep blue sea'. highly recommended.
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