February 12th, 2006
|07:46 pm - existential crisis|
okay so this all came to the fore due to a dream (and my sleep is another issue, but i'll get to that sometime), but here's fun:
i will not be a leader of the revolution, and this makes me sad. the problem is - and this is going to sound idiotic if not deranged - i no longer believe in the vaguely anarchic social revolution i had been quietly hoping for, and if it comes anyway i no longer see myself as a leader of it. so in a shot, assuming i dont change my mind later, i lose my narcassistic delusions of grandeur and my dreams of a less shitty civilization
i think this means i'm no longer a 14 yr old goth. but anyway.
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:16:53 PM): is this in reality or in your dream?
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:17:00 PM): or in reality inspired by the dream?
King Nixon (8:17:51 PM): inspired by
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:19:48 PM): awww, i didn't know you had delusions of grandeur.
King Nixon (8:21:14 PM): why else be an artist?
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:22:09 PM): ok, rephrase: i didn't know you aspired to be the leader of a revolution.
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:22:41 PM): one can be grand without being radical
Narcoleptic Fuzz (8:22:48 PM): or organized
King Nixon (8:25:38 PM): not a 1776 insurgents revolution, but yeah
i don't think anyone i've talked to is taking it as seriously as it deserves, myself included. oh well.
np: Go Home Productions - Popular Art Too - 4 - Daytrip to Heaven (Belinda Carlisle vs. The Beatles)
|Date:||February 13th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC)|| |
i'm not not-taking-you-seriously, i just think it sounds like a temporary setback/loss of faith in the revolution, that's all. except maybe for the leadership thing, and i don't know what to say about that.
I feel the need to respond to this, but I have no words.
casey and i have been speaking of similar things lately, but usually he gets mad and yells and i ask questions and try to understand, but he thinks i'm just looking for holes in his theory, so i can call him stupid. obviously i don't think he's stupid, but i'm confused by stuff and need explanations, so maybe we should have discussions about the revolution and maybe it would make more sense to me because it appears i am a lot more conservative than i have thought of myself previously.
i always get in trouble for asking too many questions about things. i want to understand!
i'm not actually sure where anarchy would fit on the conservative/liberal spectrum. it does away with all restrictions, but it also does away with all protections. llama insists i am secretly a republican
|Date:||February 13th, 2006 09:18 pm (UTC)|| |
I personally see you more as Merlin than Arthur. Not a leader, per se, but perhaps putting brainbugs into the mind of the leader.
My own role is to modify the behaviour of the leader to remain correct. My methods are sarcasm, guilt, and mockery. Which makes me Feste from 12th Night, but to keep with the analogy above, I would be more like Taliesin.
It's a living.
|Date:||February 14th, 2006 06:59 am (UTC)|| |
am i the leader then? =P
|Date:||February 14th, 2006 08:49 am (UTC)|| |
You could probably make the leader do stuff... =)