October 2nd, 2006
|08:44 pm - litter-ature|
so melley wants to buy a holy water spray bottle. as we all often do. now she mentioned this to me, and i immediately think up this scenario:
dude buys holy water online. is like hey roommate, check it out! and sprays him. roommate wtfs and he explains and is mocked for buying it and they discuss and have a good hyuck. their friend stops by, and main character is again like hey check it out! and sprays the guy with holy water. guy proceeds to start smoking and burning and thrashing around shrieking in agony.the melley tells me i should write this, and i'm looking at it, and ya know? i already did write it! there it is. i could flesh it out, add more words, but what for? i don't give a shit about the characters, it's just a funny idea, and if it had much more buildup than that it probably wouldn't be funny anymore. i don't even want to spiff up the grammar or anything. i don't see how making it more literate would add anything worthwhile to it.
i feel like this about pretty much everything i write, is the thing. my most 'accomplished' story is probably this here 20 page zombie thing, which is the pimped version of this 7 page first attempt. but i like the first version more. i mean, there's things that needed fixing or explaining, and that was good to edit in, but really, who gives a shit about this guy? most of what i added was him sitting in his room being glum, and remembering some kid he uesd to know. whoopdie doo. i added it cuz alex (writing prof) said the story needed, you know, characters and dialogue and a plot and all that. story stuff. and actually, even the first draft i would pare down a bit. as much as i like the effect of the ending, i think my first idea for the end worked a lot better - to just end it with people, disgusted and disturbed by the whole situation, shooting them all in the head and reburying them. never having any idea what happened. (especially since the explanation i did vaguely give was pretty lovecraftianly nonsensical).
so in conclusion, i think that (with some exceptions), i should stop writing stories and instead write little story blurbs. i have seen the occasional published professional story of like 2 pages, after all, so there must be some interest in such things.
now that i think about it, this is also how i feel about a lot of other people's writing. for example, bentley little. if you gave me a 2 page description of one of his books -- main plot concept, some of the more outlandish goings-on -- i would be delighted. but then if i actually read it, i get his bad writing and worse conclusions, the literary equivalent of "er ummm.. uhh.. oh, i know, ancient demons did it! so they kill the demons with dynamite! the end." (note, this is actually how one of his books ended.) but yes, of reading generally, unless it's wonderfully written and a pleasure to just read the words, or just done in some unusual way, then i would probably prefer a summary/outline to the actual book.
special bonus! lauri, upon hearing my holy water idea, asked if she could write it. so it may yet have the chance to blossom into a blushing young literary flower.
state: blah blah respect me
uhhhh hmm. i swear i searched for exactly that and didn't get this site
i feel like it should be a comedy skit. why don't you write for one of those comedy shows or late night tv or something. i feel like you have all of these vaguely funny/laughable because they are so ridiculous kinds of stories that you could actually be really good at something like that.
and you can be a writer while living in Hawaii! it's the perfect solution
why are you so intent on me living in hawaii now?