so why not just stop? i have tried to stop my passive aggressive tendencies, with i think good success overall. but the problem here is i can't feel when i'm doing it. it's not as if i suddenly think okay, time to seduce her through kindness! (which, i will also note, does not seem to work), i'm just acting how i feel i should, in the same way that i assume regulates how i act to everyone else in the world. it's genuine (which maybe means it isn't so disingenuous, just a change in feeling? i'm not sure). how often do you give any conscious thought to 'how nice should i be to this person?' so even when i know i'm doing it, what should i do instead? be a little meaner? i can't tell how i 'should' be acting, or how close to someone i 'would' feel, so i couldn't make the adjustment if i wanted to. which, honestly, i'm not sure i do.
on an i suppose related tack, there's not much worse than someone you love crying.
[i tried putting this link in the music thing, but that didn't work properly. so you should all go listen to this song]