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April 16th, 2001


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10:56 am - things i'm sure you all want to know, and dan the pretentious artist
so last nite i tried dave's suggestion of sleeping naked. i slept reeeally well. so yeah, you should all sleep naked now. with me. or not, as the case may be.

(actually, i wore socks, cuz otherwise my feet get cold)

and on a completely unrelated note, i randomly got inspired today coming back from class, and wrote 2 poems. they both, however, are still in the process of being created, and i now submit them to the critique of my readership. somehow they both have acquired 2 endings, and i don't know which to keep. what say ye? (and any other comments you care to make on them would be cool too)
(and my excuse for the odd tone of them both is that i read 2 william carlos williams poems today, and he's wacky)

that dark-haired man of impeccable taste

that dark-haired man
of impeccable taste
has a secret he confided to me one dark night
over too many glasses
of fine
wine.
now, whenever he retires for the evening
for a stroll about the neighborhood
i share his guilt
because i know
and say nothing.
for if i do,
i know i will
become
his next victim.

(or)

that dark-haired man
of impeccable taste
has a secret he confided to me one dark night
over too many glasses
of fine
wine.
now, whenever he retires for the evening
for a stroll about the neighborhood
i share his guilt
because i know
and say nothing.
if i do
i know i will
become
his next victim, but
that is not why
i stay silent.
it is because i enjoy taking part
in his crimes
from the comfort of my livingroom.

soup of the day

today's special,
invented by our chef, in his kitchen
thronged by rare and fragrant spices
saffron and cardamom scenting the air, saucepans quietly simmering as he creates his masterpiece,
or perhaps stolen from some brilliant parisian
living in the gutter,
boiling rats in discarded mustard-
a true gourmet.

(or)

today's special,
invented by our chef, in his kitchen
thronged by rare and fragrant spices
saffron and cardamom scenting the air, saucepans quietly simmering as he creates his masterpiece,
or perhaps stolen from some brilliant parisian
living in the gutter,
boiling rats in discarded mustard-
do not assume he has no taste for the finer things,
that true gourmet.
state: refreshedrefreshed
np: The Vandals - Get in Line

(5 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


From:blueuechi
Date:April 16th, 2001 08:32 am (UTC)

poems

(Link)
i believe i like the second in both cases. yes.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:April 16th, 2001 08:39 am (UTC)

Re: poems

(Link)
noted. i think i agree w/ the 1st one.. i dunno about the 2nd. the 2nd ending for that sounds better, but i like hte point of the 1st more.. hmm
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 16th, 2001 12:40 pm (UTC)

This is smitty

(Link)
I believe that i like the 1st and simple ending on the first one...cause it leaves my mind to wander, and proposes a good situation of possibilities. On the second one, i like the second ending...cuz it contradicts the beginning in a good way in my mind. Also, i am a make whore.
[User Picture]
From:bertho
Date:April 16th, 2001 04:27 pm (UTC)

Re: poems

(Link)
I'm tempted to go with the first ending on both, though I think the first one could use some sort of cross between the two, but then what the hell do I know about poetry...

Now, for the real question. Why'd it take you so long to figure out the naked sleeping thing?
[User Picture]
From:luckimunki
Date:April 17th, 2001 10:39 am (UTC)

poems

(Link)
I like the second ending for the first poem and the first ending for the second poem.

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