Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk

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"surround yourself with losers so you can be their king" --three dead trolls in a baggie

the subjectline doenst relate to anything, so ya know. i just like it.

so, tonite has been hte night of INSANE IM CONVERSATIONS OF MADNESS!!!!&#(%*#&@#

[10:05:44 PM] king nixon: i want chickens to live in my backyard. theyre fun
[10:05:53 PM] DrumFlt: bwraaaaak
[10:06:24 PM] king nixon: teehee
[10:06:30 PM] DrumFlt: BRWAAAAAK
[10:06:38 PM] king nixon: *you* could live in my backyard! and make that noise, that fool me
[10:06:49 PM] king nixon: the last that should be a to
[10:07:00 PM] DrumFlt: WHAT?
[10:07:11 PM] DrumFlt: OH!
[10:07:19 PM] king nixon: the editted version: *you* could live in my backyard! and make that noise, to fool me
[10:07:30 PM] DrumFlt: yes
[10:07:32 PM] DrumFlt: ok! i will
[10:07:36 PM] king nixon: yay!
[10:07:39 PM] DrumFlt: only if i get grain and a hen house
[10:08:00 PM] king nixon: that can be arranged
[10:08:13 PM] DrumFlt: BRAKAAWWWWW
[10:08:16 PM] king nixon: =)
[10:08:35 PM] king nixon: [does the i'm gonna have heron living in my backyard dance]
[10:08:54 PM] DrumFlt: <does the chiken dance>
[10:11:01 PM] king nixon: heh, i havent done that in YEARS
[10:11:21 PM] DrumFlt: i did it rollerskating in say, april
[10:12:04 PM] king nixon: haha
[10:12:06 PM] king nixon: you rule!
[10:12:13 PM] DrumFlt: yes, i know
[10:12:57 PM] king nixon: well thats good =)
[10:13:10 PM] DrumFlt: yup!
[10:14:15 PM] king nixon: too many ppl don't..
[10:14:20 PM] king nixon: bout themselves, that is
[10:14:50 PM] DrumFlt: yeah, they're dumb
[10:15:32 PM] king nixon: hmm
[10:15:33 PM] king nixon: arrighty
[10:16:00 PM] DrumFlt: it's true, self respect is fablous and quite powerful
[10:16:44 PM] king nixon: undoubtedly
[10:16:56 PM] DrumFlt: so, there you go
[10:18:54 PM] king nixon: where do i go?
[10:19:33 PM] DrumFlt: over to the self respect station
[10:20:16 PM] king nixon: grand central self respect
[10:20:31 PM] king nixon: now just to wait for my train to come in
[10:20:31 PM] DrumFlt: yar
[10:20:39 PM] DrumFlt: choooochoooooooooooooooo
[10:23:38 PM] king nixon: funny how in 10 minutes you went from bein a chicken to a train
[10:23:44 PM] king nixon: that's quite a talent
[10:23:58 PM] DrumFlt: thankyou!
[10:24:18 PM] king nixon: yer welcome
[10:24:25 PM] king nixon: you'll have to teach me how to transmogrify sometime
[10:24:46 PM] DrumFlt: you just need a box
[10:25:52 PM] king nixon: well dammit, i dont want surgery. can i just borrow someone else's?
[10:26:12 PM] DrumFlt: yes
[10:26:21 PM] DrumFlt: but not mine
[10:27:16 PM] king nixon: blast
[10:27:19 PM] king nixon: well, i'll see what i can come up with
[10:27:34 PM] DrumFlt: um, cardboard works
[10:30:55 PM] king nixon: a ha!
[10:30:59 PM] king nixon: i will investigate further
[10:31:35 PM] DrumFlt: as well you should

[12:11:10 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: hold on, i think i'm misreading something
[12:11:17 AM] Necrosociopath: *lol*
[12:11:27 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: ok, nevermind then
[12:11:30 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: just more of that crack
[12:11:38 AM] Necrosociopath: haha
[12:11:40 AM] Necrosociopath: uhm okay
[12:11:43 AM] Necrosociopath: Share wiff me
[12:12:32 AM] * dandanthemonkeyman offers his crack
[12:12:45 AM] Necrosociopath: haha
[12:12:47 AM] Necrosociopath: uhm
[12:12:52 AM] Necrosociopath: LMAO
[12:12:56 AM] Necrosociopath: Dirty thoughtd
[12:12:57 AM] Necrosociopath: s
[12:13:04 AM] Necrosociopath: See? It's affecting my typing.
[12:13:24 AM] Necrosociopath: Your crack has fucked up my typing already!
[12:14:01 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: YAY!
[12:14:09 AM] Necrosociopath: haha
[12:14:13 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: it is SUPER ULTRA MEGA crack
[12:14:18 AM] Necrosociopath: That's some strong shit.
[12:14:39 AM] Necrosociopath: wooo
[12:14:53 AM] Necrosociopath: I always knew you had the best crack in town.
[12:15:26 AM] Necrosociopath: If I could copy and paste, I'd post this in my livejournal. *lol*
[12:15:43 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: haha
[12:15:47 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: i'll take care of that
[12:15:57 AM] Necrosociopath: But I spend all my money on crack so all I can afford is webtv.
[12:16:10 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: oddly, you are the 2nd person tontie i've discussed crack with
[12:16:14 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: lol
[12:16:23 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: webtv is gross
[12:16:28 AM] Necrosociopath: GOD spreading your crack are you???
[12:16:35 AM] Necrosociopath: *laughs hysterically*
[12:16:36 AM] Necrosociopath: "crack"
[12:16:40 AM] Necrosociopath: hahaha
[12:17:12 AM] Necrosociopath: I seriously need to find a hobby other than selling your crack at KFC.
[12:17:12 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: haha
[12:17:39 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: teh other one wasnt even about MY crack. it was the social life of an assistant crack whore in abu dabi
[12:18:17 AM] Necrosociopath: omg you spent a night with him too???
[12:18:34 AM] Necrosociopath: *whew* I thought I was the only one with crabs.
[12:19:10 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: i didnt get crabs. he splurged and bought lobster
[12:19:31 AM] Necrosociopath: And what do you mean webtv is gross? You, the crack spreading whore, are talking about gross to someone else? My webtv doesn't have anything to do with your crack.
[12:20:01 AM] Necrosociopath: hehe.... Uhm, yeah. That's what I meant. Crab in a creamy, white sauce.
[12:20:10 AM] Necrosociopath: AHHHHHH now I'm grossing myself out. Enough.
[12:20:39 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: hahaha
[12:20:45 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: yay i win!
[12:20:52 AM] Necrosociopath: I hate you
[12:20:55 AM] Necrosociopath: And your crack
[12:21:12 AM] Necrosociopath: I'm never sniffing your crack again.
[12:21:13 AM] Necrosociopath: ahahaahaha
[12:21:41 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: aww
[12:21:43 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: not even a little?
[12:21:47 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: first one's free.....
[12:22:32 AM] Necrosociopath: No. I might put it on the back of my tongue and take it orally but I'm not desperate enough to shoot... up.... wait, what were we talking about?
[12:25:22 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: about how you're going to tongue my crack
[12:25:39 AM] Necrosociopath: oh my
[12:25:43 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: =)
[12:25:49 AM] Necrosociopath: I'm sure *I* would never say that.

[10:50:36 PM] HJFintmann: Hey, you can come mow my grass!
[10:51:32 PM] king nixon: i cooould
[10:51:55 PM] king nixon: it's not entirely practical however
[10:52:09 PM] HJFintmann: I'll give you $20
[10:52:57 PM] king nixon: ah, well THATs different then!
[10:53:09 PM] king nixon: i'll be there tomorrow
[10:53:14 PM] HJFintmann: I knew you'd come around..
[10:53:18 PM] king nixon: disguised as a tree. just give me the lawnmower and i'll get to work
[10:53:25 PM] king nixon: u'd better mail me hte 20 here tho, just in case
[10:54:10 PM] HJFintmann: I'll just wrap it around the handle of the mower
[10:54:47 PM] king nixon: no, that wont work
[10:55:33 PM] HJFintmann: why not?
[10:56:20 PM] king nixon: cuz then i wont get the money. this was all a complex scam, you see
[10:57:12 PM] HJFintmann: hmmm...
[11:00:25 PM] HJFintmann: Wait, you mean you weren't actually going to come disguised as a tree?
[11:01:23 PM] king nixon: no, that part was true
[11:01:36 PM] HJFintmann: So you just weren't going to mow the grass
[11:02:38 PM] king nixon: see, the scam was that while i was mowing your lawn in my tree disguise, poeple would see me and be so amazed at the miraculous lawnmowing tree that they would offer me thier wallets and cars and daughters. all of which you couldve gotten had you come up with this cunning plan yourself
[11:03:03 PM] HJFintmann: Oh!
[11:03:30 PM] king nixon: i suppose it's not really a scam so much as a hairbrained scheme, but that didnt sound as appealing
[11:04:12 PM] HJFintmann: So why couldn't I leave the money here?
[11:05:26 PM] king nixon: i need money to rent the tree costume
[11:05:41 PM] king nixon: surprisingly, no banks would give me a loan to get it
[11:05:57 PM] HJFintmann: I see now. That is a brilliant scheme
[11:07:01 PM] king nixon: why thank you
[11:07:06 PM] king nixon: i thought it up myslf!
[11:07:21 PM] HJFintmann: that explains a lot
[11:07:28 PM] HJFintmann: ;-)
[11:09:23 PM] king nixon: heh
[11:09:26 PM] king nixon: it's brilliance, you mean?
[11:09:46 PM] HJFintmann: Of course. You don't think I was being sarcastic, do you?
[11:10:14 PM] king nixon: no, not a bit
[11:10:19 PM] king nixon: never crossed my mind
[11:10:23 PM] king nixon: not even for an instant
[11:10:24 PM] king nixon: nope
[11:10:30 PM] king nixon: no sarcasm is evident at all
[11:10:32 PM] HJFintmann: Good, 'cause I'm never sarcastic
[11:10:33 PM] king nixon: not a drop
[11:10:40 PM] king nixon: not even a smidgeon
[11:10:44 PM] HJFintmann: I hate sarcasm
[11:12:17 PM] HJFintmann: I was talking to an ex-gf once and I jokingly said, "Are you being sarcastic?" (cuz she was pickin' on me) and her reply was "Sarcastic? *Me*?"
[11:12:24 PM] HJFintmann: sarcastic little bithc. heh
[11:13:06 PM] king nixon: lol
[11:13:08 PM] king nixon: nice
[11:14:23 PM] HJFintmann: But I showed her. I let her break my heart into a million pieces
[11:14:37 PM] HJFintmann: Now who's laughing! haha!
[11:14:41 PM] HJFintmann: Oh wait...
[11:14:48 PM] king nixon: well thatll certainly teach her
[11:15:25 PM] HJFintmann: indeed
[11:15:47 PM] king nixon: well look at it this way.. now you've got a good life, and she' an assistant crack whore in abu dabi
[11:16:00 PM] HJFintmann: haha
[11:16:24 PM] HJFintmann: Not even the head crackwhore
[11:16:31 PM] king nixon: exactly
[11:16:41 PM] king nixon: she is BEHOLDEN to the head crack whore
[11:16:52 PM] king nixon: and must give her a cut of the crack
[11:17:36 PM] HJFintmann: So that's how that works
[11:17:49 PM] king nixon: yes
[11:18:03 PM] king nixon: plus the head crack whore can pass on to her any customers she deems too skanky
[11:18:23 PM] HJFintmann: haha
[11:19:28 PM] HJFintmann: can the assistant crack whores exchange customers among themselves?
[11:20:13 PM] HJFintmann: I mean like, one's really good, but doesn't pay out much crack, so she can pass him off to another who doesn't need much crack right now?
[11:20:22 PM] king nixon: only with the head crack whore's express permission, on a case by case basis
[11:20:39 PM] king nixon: it's quite an exhausting process. you woudlnt BELIEVE the paperwork and red tape
[11:21:15 PM] HJFintmann: I can imagine. It's probably hard to fill out those forms with all that crack in your brain, too.
[11:21:19 PM] king nixon: yeah
[11:21:43 PM] king nixon: and besides, when do any of them NOT need much crack?
[11:22:37 PM] king nixon: know what confuses me... 'genre' is a certain genre. they cant do that! it's like naming a certain soda 'soda'
[11:22:44 PM] HJFintmann: Well, say one of them had a big night. She's got enough crack to last the week, but can't stop her whoring ways (I'm sure the head crack whore would be upset)
[11:23:12 PM] king nixon: she would snort all her crack within 20 minutes. theyre a very compulsive bunch
[11:23:32 PM] king nixon: if it was too much for her to snort it all, she would inject the excess directly into her eyeball
[11:23:43 PM] HJFintmann: ewww
[11:23:54 PM] HJFintmann: ::covers eyes::
[11:23:56 PM] king nixon: (which i read once is the most efficient way of injecting things to get them into the bloodstream quickly)
[11:24:24 PM] HJFintmann: snorting works fairly well. Not that I would know about such things, of course.
[11:24:30 PM] king nixon: of course
[11:25:08 PM] HJFintmann: Duh, no wonder I'm sniffling - I haven't taken my allergy medicine in like two days...
[11:26:14 PM] king nixon: oops. go do that
[11:26:20 PM] HJFintmann: Just did
[11:26:23 PM] king nixon: THROUGH YOUR EYEBALL
[11:26:26 PM] king nixon: oh, ok then
[11:26:28 PM] HJFintmann: haha
[11:26:51 PM] HJFintmann: I don't think the pills would fit in my eye.
[11:27:20 PM] HJFintmann: And it specifically says not to crush them
[11:27:44 PM] HJFintmann: I think the atoms break apart if you do that and it sets off a small nuclear explosion
[11:29:52 PM] king nixon: no, they just say that so you dont discover their secret. if u crushed it, you would see that it's really made of cheese, with a small mediciney covering
[11:30:09 PM] HJFintmann: mm... cheesy...
[11:31:29 PM] HJFintmann: Maybe I should've snorted the pill.
[11:31:47 PM] king nixon: heh
[11:32:12 PM] king nixon: most doctors encourage experimenting with your medication!
[11:32:15 PM] king nixon: they enjoy the creativity
[11:32:27 PM] king nixon: if you find a new way to take it, theyll give you a sticker
[11:32:51 PM] HJFintmann: like crumbling it up and rubbing it on your arm until it soaks into your pores?
[11:33:01 PM] king nixon: that would be one option
[11:33:09 PM] HJFintmann: Use it as a masturbation aid!
[11:33:12 PM] king nixon: better make sure your pores are big enough. you should stretch them out beforehand
[11:33:48 PM] HJFintmann: how does one stretch their pores?
[11:34:28 PM] king nixon: by putting them on the rack til they confess their sins
[11:35:02 PM] HJFintmann: of course, why didn't I think of that
[11:37:10 PM] king nixon: because you're not so insane as i
[11:37:58 PM] HJFintmann: Sure about that?
[11:38:36 PM] king nixon: purple.
[11:39:43 PM] HJFintmann: Heh. I should show you the log from my old IRC days. We went raiding and ended up in a channel called #surreal
[11:39:53 PM] HJFintmann: That was a whacked night
[11:40:35 PM] HJFintmann: Of course, I have no clue where that log is...
[11:41:17 PM] king nixon: heh, that musta been fun
[11:41:24 PM] king nixon: i never did any raiding on irc
[11:42:49 PM] HJFintmann: 'Twas great fun. There was a core group of four or five of us with a few random people added every now and then. We'd meet up every night and talk for an hour or so, then off to another network to harrass innocent bystanders.
[11:43:59 PM] HJFintmann: or not so innocent ones, really, we tended to pick out the more demented places to abuse, like #peesex and incest channels
[11:44:14 PM] king nixon: haha
[11:44:15 PM] king nixon: yay
[11:44:39 PM] king nixon: i guess if u're gonna be evil, theyre the folks to do it to
[11:44:44 PM] HJFintmann: "Mom, mom are you here?"
[11:44:47 PM] king nixon: hmm
[11:46:19 PM] HJFintmann: #surreal was definitely our best, though. There were only a couple people in it, and it turned out they weren't even at their computers, but we stayed about half an hour just spouting non-sensical thinks about purple giraffes and the like
[11:46:33 PM] king nixon: haha
[11:46:34 PM] king nixon: yay
[11:46:36 PM] king nixon: none of them were there?
[11:46:49 PM] HJFintmann: nope, but we were having too much fun to leave
[11:46:58 PM] king nixon: thats great
[11:47:37 PM] HJFintmann: I know I've got it printed out somewhere. I might have to transcribe it (and figure out who's who) if I can find it
[11:47:53 PM] HJFintmann: SAhould make a nice journal entry someday.
[11:48:28 PM] king nixon: cool
[11:49:12 PM] HJFintmann: why am I hot again?
[11:49:31 PM] king nixon: too much sexiness
[11:50:05 PM] HJFintmann: Well, you'd think that would be a constant, though.
[11:51:24 PM] king nixon: you'd think
[11:51:36 PM] king nixon: must be cuz your pores are bigger now
[11:52:00 PM] HJFintmann: but that should let out more sweat, thereby cooling me off.
[11:52:56 PM] king nixon: yeah, but heat rises
[11:53:27 PM] HJFintmann: so it's all in my head?
[11:54:46 PM] king nixon: yes
[11:55:01 PM] king nixon: (i'm glad you thought of a reason for my response to make sense, cuz i coudlnt think of one)
[11:55:30 PM] HJFintmann: It was a bit of a struggle...
[11:56:44 PM] king nixon: but you prevailed through your rob~y powers!
[11:57:45 PM] HJFintmann: I usually do
[11:59:14 PM] king nixon: exactly
[12:00:36 AM] HJFintmann: I think I'll have myself a li'l JD nightcap...
[12:00:45 AM] king nixon: heh
[12:00:50 AM] king nixon: groovy
[12:01:14 AM] HJFintmann: ::hugs bottle::
[12:01:36 AM] HJFintmann: okay, not really, it's still on the counter...
[12:01:45 AM] king nixon: heh
[12:01:53 AM] king nixon: i'm sur eyou hugged it in spirit tho
[12:02:10 AM] HJFintmann: Indeed
[12:02:15 AM] HJFintmann: and my dreams
[12:03:12 AM] king nixon: and mine
[12:04:43 AM] HJFintmann: hey, get your hands off my bottle!
[12:05:22 AM] HJFintmann: you damn dirty ape!
[12:05:53 AM] king nixon: hey now, i resent that
[12:05:56 AM] king nixon: i'm clean
[12:07:24 AM] HJFintmann: oh yeah? when was the last time you took a shower?
[12:09:37 AM] king nixon: bout 5 hours ago
[12:10:02 AM] HJFintmann: So you have 5 hours of dirt on you
[12:10:22 AM] king nixon: since then i've been in a vacuumsealed dirtless bubble
[12:11:15 AM] HJFintmann: a vacuum-sealed dirtless bubble COVERED IN FILTH!
[12:12:11 AM] king nixon: on the outside, yes. see, thats how it works - all the filth on the outside, so it all figures if theres so much outside, there must be a lot inside too. and none of hte filth tries to come in
[12:12:18 AM] king nixon: and if it did, i would shoot it with my gun.
[12:13:51 AM] HJFintmann: your love gun?
[12:19:27 AM] king nixon: my eeeeevil love gun
[12:19:34 AM] king nixon: i havent had a sensible conversatoin with anyone all nite
[12:19:57 AM] HJFintmann: I think that somes something about you.
[12:20:05 AM] king nixon: it sure does..
[12:20:10 AM] king nixon: [12:18:17 AM] Necrosociopath: omg you spent a night with him too???
[12:18:34 AM] Necrosociopath: *whew* I thought I was the only one with crabs.
[12:19:10 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: i didnt get crabs. he splurged and bought lobster
[12:20:33 AM] HJFintmann: haha
[12:21:08 AM] king nixon: [12:20:01 AM] Necrosociopath: hehe.... Uhm, yeah. That's what I meant. Crab in a creamy, white sauce.
[12:20:10 AM] Necrosociopath: AHHHHHH now I'm grossing myself out. Enough.
[12:20:39 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: hahaha
[12:20:45 AM] dandanthemonkeyman: yay i win!
[12:21:13 AM] * king nixon beams proudly
[12:21:57 AM] HJFintmann: good job
[12:25:10 AM] HJFintmann: I like monkeys.
[12:25:37 AM] king nixon: and they like you
[12:25:50 AM] HJFintmann: awww. :)
[12:25:55 AM] HJFintmann: Now I fell all loved
[12:26:00 AM] HJFintmann: feel, even
[12:26:57 AM] HJFintmann: I fell in love once
[12:27:11 AM] HJFintmann: Took days to wash that off me
[12:28:08 AM] king nixon: you should have used monkeys. theyre very cleansing
[12:28:42 AM] HJFintmann: maybe I should get one of those vaccuum-sealed bubble things

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