It doesn't matter that you are a horrible person. You are the reason that boys dream of becoming astronauts: so they can man the first mission to pluto, and carve an ice sculpture that resembles you. Then alien passers-by will know that our planet has its moments.
p.s. The aliens will probably masturbate while thinking of you, then launch an invasion to capture you for their king. When you tell him to fuck off, the earth will be destroyed. I only want to write poems.