Prometheus von Cornsilk (kingnixon) wrote,
Prometheus von Cornsilk

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war on christmas

merry xmas, gentiles! it's that time of year again, when all good little jews are off earning sweet holiday pay[1], while most of you chumps are sitting around watching tiny lightbulbs burn out on evergreens.
i found a Pilates Door Gym at findy last night, inside the busted piano. so this time next week, prepare to be blinded by my glistening rockhard abs. assuming i don't just use it once and forget, which is actually what i am expecting to happen.
i was planning to take a shower now, but i just realized i have to be up for work in less than 6 hours, and i only got 5 or so last night, so tomorrow is gonna be sleepytown funtime. happily, i have a 3 hr hole in the middle of my shift tomorrow, so maybe i'll just take a nap on wayne's couch. i would go across the st to mark's apt - he has way comfier couches - but i don't trust that guy around me while i'm asleep. i'm liable to wake up covered in his filthy laundry or something. not even as a prank, just because he doesn't make sense. the closest he gets to pranking people is randomly pointing at you and shouting "gotcha!" like he just solved a murder mystery. or pretending he forgot your name.

oh in semi-related news, i had an actual war on christmas sighting recently. someone getting off the bus wished the busdriver[2] happy holidays, and this launched him into a big spiel about it's not happy holidays it's merry christmas no matter how much people hate it that's what it's called and you don't call it a holiday tree do you no it's a christmas tree, etc etc. so when i got off the bus i wished him a happy kwanzaa.
oh and a busdriver today, while ranting about the economy, busted out the amazing line "they're like santa claus with his sack of toys, only it's a big sack of lies and they hand them out all year long!"

[1] tho nothing will ever compare to abacus in highschool, which was an inbound call center me and a pile of my friends worked at. for christmas they paid some ludicrous rate like 2.5x, and you could sign up to work as long as you wanted (aaron signed up for the full 24 hours and had to be sent home early when he started getting loopy, if memory serves). that was also one of the easiest shifts i've ever worked; evidently not many people want to order fishing lures or place classified ads on xmas. so basically we all got fistfuls of cash for sitting around and reading magazines.

[2] i feel oddly proud that a bunch of the busdrivers know me now. like they recognize me from taking the bus every day and we say hey how's it going etc. it's like being a regular at a diner, i guess. if the drivers were drinking it'd be Cheers, if there were any episodes of cheers that ended with everyone's mangled bodies on fire.
how did i manage to end a cheerful post with that? what the hell? everyone picture kittens riding unicorns down gumdrop lane.

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