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August 26th, 2001


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03:46 am - friends
i've been thinking about this a lot lately. what sort of friend i am.
things with lauri lately have been.. um.. subpar, shall we say. i've mentioned it here and there, it's been in her journal a fair bit, for thsoe of you who know her. and she mentioned talking to john about it, because he's had experience with being in a mucked up friendship with me.
i get.. i dont know.. un-used to people. i think i'm a good casual friend.. like, someone i hang out with on a sorta regular basis, we're prtty good friends but not real close, i do pretty well for myself. at some point, if we go over a certain threshold of closeness, or what have you, i'll get infatuated with them for awhile (not romantically/sexually[1], mind you. they just become extremely interesting and good, to me), and more actively try to interact with them. i dont know if i act differently or not, if i do it's not intentionally or, um, aware-of-it-ly (uhh?).
but anyway.
at some point, the infatuation wears off and theyre just them again (not that that's a bad thing to be. i'm just saying..), and little random things they do that i overlooked or was amused by or somethign before suddenly become annoying. not very annoying, maybe, just slightly irritating. but, maybe thru overexposure, it gets more annoying.

and i've just realized this is bullshit.

have you ever done this? - thinking about whatever, something about yourself, and you think of something that makes sense and explains what you do/how you feel/whatever. and it seems to fit, seems to work. so yeah, THAT's why! of course! and then you relize that, sensible tho it may be, it's nothing to do with how you actually feel.
so that was all wrong. i still don't know. and i didn't really get far enough into this entry to even fully get the main point out, so it's probly pretty useless to read anyway. good for me.

[1] despite this entry being invalidated, i'll write the footnote anyway... there are a fair number of girls that i suspect i'm friends with only because i was initially romantically/sexually interested in them, and made an effort to get closer to them (because of course i coudlnt just ask them out or anything. anyway). at such point as the interest is gone, i'd drop from the high end i was at, to being as much freind to them as they are to me (not an intentional "i'll only give to you what you give to me" thing, just no inclination to shove it). sometimes this is still good friends. somtimes not so much. kinda sucks discovering you're only freinds w/ someone because you make it so [2]

[2] heh, i cant use that phrase without thinking of startrek. /me is lame

this all didnt go nearly as deep as i was hoping it would. thats disapointing. no big discoveries today. [checks watch]

so yeah, i've been thinking about stuff like that a fair amount lately. i was supposed to be cleaning my room tonite, never happened. big shock. work was disgustingly busy tonite, mostly beceause of powerball. someone really needs to win that, so 938538593483589358393598 people don't feel the need to buy a ticket from us every day (or every hour, as some people seem to do. ah, state-sponsored addictions. maybe the govt will start selling heroin too, thatd be good (i was going to say, maybe the govt will start selling alcohol, but they already do that[3]. doh)

[3] i was wondering about this - what is the point of 'official' state alcohol stores? are they better? cheaper? better/worse in any way?
state: emo nerdario
np: Atlanta Symphony - Carmina Burana - O Fortuna

(13 shots upside the head | en garde!)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:bertho
Date:August 26th, 2001 08:42 am (UTC)
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what is the point of 'official' state alcohol stores?

Can't answer it for Nude Hampster, but in Virginia you can only purchase alcohol over a certain proof level in the state ABC stores. Basically you can buy beer and wine and stuff like that in regular stores, but this gives the state more control over alcohol sales, not to mention a nice little profit since they have no competition. (Actually, the prices are quite reasonable, though). Florida, oddly enough, hasn't gotten into the business (we have ABC stores, but it's a private company).
From:candy_angel
Date:August 26th, 2001 04:33 pm (UTC)
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what he said. same's true for NC, too. Then you got CT, which sells everything yuo could ever want in the grocery store! Yeah, that's my favorite state, alright, always bein' good to the common man *waves at my beloved Connecticut*
[User Picture]
From:bertho
Date:August 26th, 2001 08:53 pm (UTC)
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They don't sell it in the grocery stores here, but most of them have liquor stores attached. They do in Maine, though. I was quite amused going through the grocery store and seeing one aisle with a sign that said "You must be 21 or older to go down this aisle".
From:candy_angel
Date:August 26th, 2001 09:02 pm (UTC)

Re:

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heh
[User Picture]
From:feste
Date:August 27th, 2001 01:23 am (UTC)
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In Washington state they have beer and wine and similar not-too-hard stuff in the Safeway (grocery store).

Here in Canadia, it is all government run for hard stuff (liquor stores sell everything though), and there are lots of "cold beer & wine" stores, generally attached to a pub, that have to be certified by the government and comply to lots of really strict rules (they can't also sell cigs, f'rinstance).
From:candy_angel
Date:August 27th, 2001 07:32 am (UTC)
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in most states it is thusly.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:August 27th, 2001 12:40 am (UTC)
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whats ABC stand for?
[User Picture]
From:feste
Date:August 27th, 2001 01:23 am (UTC)
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Already Been Chugged
From:candy_angel
Date:August 27th, 2001 07:33 am (UTC)
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uhm, I used to know, but can't remember anymore. Dam nyou for reminding me I don't know something! (just kidding, yo)
[User Picture]
From:bertho
Date:August 27th, 2001 09:29 am (UTC)
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Alcoholic Beverage Commission, IIRC.
[User Picture]
From:madeleine
Date:August 27th, 2001 06:52 am (UTC)
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so yeah, i've been thinking about stuff like that a fair amount lately. i was supposed to be cleaning my room tonite, never happened.

Yeah but going by your discussion on friends, etc I'd say you did a different kind of tidying, and one that's more important. So good for you.

(I related to a lot of what you said, esp that part about new friends gradually becoming just ordinary people, etc)
[User Picture]
From:blaznrob
Date:August 27th, 2001 10:53 pm (UTC)

Hmm

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I find it rather interesting, and just a rad disturbing that he wrote this long sad story about losing all his friends, and most people find it more appealing to comment on the alcohol stuffs (praps they're commenting on the stuff they know about...) hmm. that sounded overly harsh. (Current mood: Cynical) Ah well, I'm sorry to hear you're friendships seem to go sour Danno. Ya never got attatched to me, which is probly why we can still talk now and then. Go me.
[User Picture]
From:kingnixon
Date:September 5th, 2001 12:31 am (UTC)

Re: Hmm

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mm, go you. and if i ever go online again, we shall talk moresomely.

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